Betty Roars and Mary Weeps

Hello Betty Fans,
There is no justice for Badgers. Me and Mary are lost in a pool of sadness.  Defra announced they would be shooting 64.000 Badgers this Autumn and that made Mary's eyes leak for two weeks, hence the pool of tears just like in Alice in Wonderland.. Here is a nice picture of a Badger to cheer you all up:

Mary nearly gave up the battle to save us but then she found her courage and we arranged a powerful protest outside Defra.  Rather than the usual chant:

 "What do we want"
Stop the Cull
When do we want it
Now!"

Mary did a little drama in which I, Betty Badger, played a starring role. 

It involved us all standing in absolute ominous silence, then everyone chanted my name and I came out and danced about a bit and then I got shot. It all got very messy as Mary had some red poster paint.  The other Badger called Bertie also got shot.  The best bit was when I was dying and everyone started screaming and humming and crying.  Mary roared so loud with a voice so full of rage and despair that I felt the earth move on its foundations. Mary described it as "cathartic" which means  "the purging of emotions or relieving of emotional tensions, especially through certain kinds of art such as tragedy or music"  

NASA announced the discovery of a couple of reasons why the earth occasionally wobbles on its axis- Huwoman despair is another reason....

Anyway, she seemed a lot better afterwards and looked twenty years younger- this is a picture of her after her Roar with her Badger loving friends Chris and Rosie.

Meanwhile I am covered in poster paint and nobody seems to care about that. They haven't even given me a good wash. 

Unfortunately we did spill a little paint on the ground outside Marsham Street and they sent a Huwoman out to clean it up.  I thought it was interesting that they didn't get a Human to help but I guess that cleaning up is a female's work rather than important Humen's work because they are always so busy of standing around chatting. When Mary saw the Huwoman this week, she thanked her for cleaning up after us. 

We did some speeches and here is a picture of Mary talking to the assembled throng wearing something that looks like me! 

I think the most remarkable thing about the picture is that Mary can actually still bend her knees, and get up again.  She is really old and will be 65 Huwoman years in a couple of days time.

One funny thing that happened was Extinction Rebellion were also having a protest at the same time, about us eating the earth.  We eventually got out of the way and let them do their drama which was all about how what we eat affects the planet. I am not sure that Badgers eating Worms will have too much impact on Global Warming.  They had a table and a waitress and diners but, best of all, they had Cakes.  These Cakes were supposed to look like the earth, but I have never seen the earth as a blue and green ball- I thought it was flat.... But who cares

When no one was looking Bertie and I ate the earth and it was delicious.  

We got a picture in The Guardian which is said to be a paper of news that compassionate people read.  Lots  of my signs are in the photos.  I'm glad my spelling is improving...

As I am writing, hundreds of Badgers will already be dead.  Their families will be sad, wondering where they have gone. They will guess it is something to do with this flash bang sticks that roar during the night. 

As I said, we both nearly gave up trying to stop the killing and Mary took to her bed and wouldn't talk to anyone for a couple of weeks.  Last week her eyes leaked so much when we were outside Defra  that Mrs Villier's driver and the nice Security man Bob were worried about us.  Several of our Defra friends, said, "Don't give up Betty". 

But no one beats Betty so, last night, Mary bought her train ticket to Man Chester to the Conservatory Party Conference on Monday.  It cost her £150 for the Virgin train fare but I said it was worth all that money because they are such lovely trains that look like Badgers.  

We are so excited.  We are going up when Mrs Villiers is giving her talk and Mary has asked her MP Grant Shapps if we can meet her.  Mary said something about flying pigs, but I am not sure what she was talking about.  Mr Shapps once said to Mary, "What is an intelligent woman like you worried about a few Badgers for?" Mary told her local paper about that....  This is Mary's MP . 

 
As usual we went on our Defra vigil again this week and we met lots of wonderful Hupeople who are so angry about politicians behaving like children over Brexit .  They are busy playing games and are not dealing with important things like stopping Cow TB by vaccinating cattle, or all the Huperson misery in the Country. One Huwoman stopped us at our train station and thanked Mary for trying to save the Badgers.  Mary wears clothes that say "Stop the Cull" and have pictures of a nice Badger.

We met another Huwoman outside Defra and she wants to be Mary's friend and may join us in our Thursday vigils.  She is very angry about the Badger Kill-Cull

Another interesting Huperson we met is from The United States of America.  He is a Wisconsin Badger.  They are very active Badgers and play a game called Football and lots of other games running around chasing balls. Here is a picture of a Wisconsin Badger. 

He was a very friendly Human as are most Americans except those who like shooting their friends and neighbours and wildlife.  

Mary has been busy tweeting on Twitter.  She is not really sure how to do it but she seems to have a few people following her.  She is @badgeradvocate .  She got very angry with Tony Juniper, the  new head of Natural England.  He used to be the head of the Wildlife Trusts and said he loved Badgers but now he is the man that signed the paper to kill 64,000 Badgers this autumn.  Mary says he should resign.  When he said how increasingly popular Natural England was with the general public Mary tweeted that he was deluded. 

While we were outside Defra this week we were waved at by who Mary thinks was George Eustice, the Farming Minister.  He is the man that wants Badgers to die. 

Lots of important Hupeople are angry about the Kill-Cull.  One of them is Alick Simmons who used to be the Deputy Chief Vet at Defra. Another one is a vet and former government agriculture scientist called Iain McGill.  He made an impassioned speech and accused Defra of scientific fraud.  

What I really want to know is, if all these clever scientists think the Kill-Cull should not go ahead, then why is it? Who is the person who is making this happen?  Who is the evil genius with great powers of persuasion causing this to happen? I think we should all be told. I think it might be that Human I have met going into Defra who said 120.000 dead Badgers  is not enough.  He said he wants ten times that many to die. 

I must tell you some more exciting news.  Me and Mary are giving a talk on Tuesday.  Here are the details.  Of course, we might get kidnapped in Man Chester.   Here is the poster:

Oh, Mary has just announced that she will give me a good wash to get the paint off before we go to Man Chester on Monday.  We don't want people up there to think Southern Badgers are dirty. 

I am sue I will have lots of exciting adventures to share when I get back.

Night Night

Betty 🐾🐾🐾

Betty Badger Contaminates a Crime Scene

Hello Fans. We had an exciting time at Defra last week because a crazy Human stabbed a member of Defra staff, just where I normally stand .  Fortunately I didn't arrive until ten  minutes after the stabbing. This is a picture of the knife:

 And here is a picture of the Human who was stabbed.  Just think, it could have been Betty!

There were so many TV cameras and I got asked questions by the TV and press.  They didn't want to hear about the Badger Kill-Cull.  I think I spoiled lots of their pictures by positioning myself just by the crime scene with all my signs.  I got into big trouble when one of my signs flew away into the taped off area.  The Human in uniform told me to hold on to my signs and not contaminate the crime scene again. 

Here is my picture of the the excitement:

I do understand why Hupeople sometimes turn to violence. Mary and I have tried so hard to end the injustice of the Badger Kill-Cull.  We have stood outside Defra for two years, we have been on the Radio, national and local, we have written to the papers, we have seen Mary's MP and we have even had a meeting with the Secretary of State Mr Gove, and yet there is no change to an irrational and cruel policy. Sometimes violence must seem like the only option left to get heard. I have suggested that Mary sets herself on fire outside Defra to get the headlines but she won't agree to that. 

There are lots of peculiar Hupeople in that area around Marsham Street as Mary and I have discovered to our cost.  I am glad to say that the member of staff was not badly hurt.  The crazy Human had a white Ferret with him and Hupeople seemed more worried about the fate of the Ferret rather than the poor Human who was stabbed. Isn't odd that British are a nation of Animal lovers yet they go around killing so many animals like Badgers and Hares and Foxes.  And although Ferrets are related to Badgers we don't seem to matter so much. This is a ferret:

Remember I asked the question in my last Badger log about who was in charge of Defra?  I suggested it was the National Farmers Union.  Well; I was right because a senior member of staff, who will remain nameless, confirmed it this Thursday outside Defra.  It is a big secret.

Badger-loving Hupeople have already set up in their big tents in the West Country ready to try to stop the killing which will begin on Monday, even though Defra hasn't made the announcement yet.  Another one of my Defra Moles told me that the Ministers are all so busy with Brexit that they haven't actually signed the paper yet.  I wonder if that makes the killing unlawful.

But the Hupeople saving our lives in the countryside have already seen the killers putting out peanuts to attract my Badger friends.  Once we know where there are peanuts we cannot resist them.  So tens of thousands of my Badger kin will be tempted by peanuts to their deaths. Because Mary and I are so sad a bout this we won't say much today. Mary's eyes have been leaking a lot lately every time she thinks about all the dead Badgers.  If I could cry then I would too, but Badgers don't cry even when are hearts are broken by wicked Hupeople who kill us even though we are innocent.

I have made some good friends in Defra and, because Hupeople find it easier to talk to a strange Badger than their families, they tell me their problems and I help sort them out.  The jolly Defra Huwoman with red boots came to say goodbye as her contract hasn't been renewed.  She is sad and I will miss her.

Mary is wondering whether to go with me  to the Conservatory Party Conference like she has in the last three years.  We did have so much fun in Manchester before.

I think she's worrying about leaving the Chickens because there is a fox about.  In any case she has probably left it so late to get a room.  It would be fun however if we could get a room in the hotel where all the Conservatories are staying and then I could meet lots of MPs and talk to them.  They mightn't like Betty Badger at the breakfast table though because I am a noisy eater.  Mary said to ask if there is any benefactor out there who can sneak us into the Hotel.  We did try joining the Conservatory Party but they rejected our application...

On the subject of Chickens, Mary has now bought them a play tent!!!  They don't even go inside to shelter from the weather but stand outside pecking it.  I really don't know what Mary sees in Chickens.  All they do is scratch and peck, whereas we Badgers build tunnels and can dig up bees nests and dig under chicken fences and eat chickens.... but I am restraining myself not do that out of kindness to Mary. 

Another positive bit of news.  Mary tells me that her Cat Rufus must have been a mechanic in a previous life because he is fascinated by cars and other machines.  Here is a picture of him learning all about combine harvesters. It is remarkable that he has survives for six years.  He managed to burn a hole in his face when he was inspecting a hot exhaust pipe leaving a circular ring around his eye and has been driven off in the back of a van.  I only wish that Badgers had nine lives...

Mary and I might not write a blog for a while now because, if the Badger Kill-Cull is announced tomorrow, we may have broken hearts, or get arrested because we lose control or I might get killed by the evil Humen with their flash-bang sticks.  We Badgers live in terrible times. 

Au revoirs

Betty🐾🐾🐾

Humpty Dumpty runs Defra

Hello Betty Fans.  Your Favourite Badger here again. Today I want to tell you about Angels, and Ministers and Ice Cream Vans. 

It is all change at Defra. Theresa Villiers is in charge and Mr Goldsmith is her Undersecretary.  That badger-hating Mr Eustice is the Farming Minister.  Mary has already asked for us to meet Mrs Villiers and she also wrote to her on the Book of Faces congratulating her on her new job and asking her to announce a Moratorium on the Killing of Badgers.  That means stop killing us for a while.  This is Ms Villiers:

Unlike Mr Eustice she does have some compassion for Animals as she doesn't like live Animal exports or Fox hunting.  I hear that she was in favour of killing Badgers but perhaps she might change her mind on that.  Mr Goldsmith likes animals and wants to stop the Badger Kill-Cull.  Me and Mary met him once at the Conservatory party Conference and he came and spoke to us. Here he is:

I suppose the important Question this not very bright Badger would like to ask  is "Who is really in charge at Defra and who has the Power?"  Is it the Ministers or is it the Civil Servants or is it the National Farmers Union (NFU). Many people think it is the NFU.  Otherwise why is the government following a policy that is unscientific and cannot work?  The only people who want us Badgers dead is Farmers. 90% of the British public and most vets and scientists want Killing to stop.

Anyway, Mary told me that she has "her heart in her mouth" every day when she wakes up and listens to Farming Today .

I thought that was a bit odd.  I can understand sucking your own fingers and toes but not your internal organs.  Mary says it is doesn't mean that but it means something like holding your breath in anticipation of something dreadful happening.  The dreadful thing Mary is upset about is the announcement  of this year's Badger Kill-Cull.  Last year it was announced on 13th August and that is only a few days away.

I think Mary might have a nervous breakdown if the Kill-Cull goes ahead. I think I will go into my sett and and never come out again in despair, because the rumour is that Defra wants to Kill 50,000 Badger Folk this year and for NO GOOD SCIENTIFIC REASON.   Mary says it is so wrong that it defies understanding.  She says it is as if we live in an Alice in Wonderland world. She told me about  Humpty Dumpty who says that words mean what he wants them to mean.  Defra is making science  and the Randomised Badger Cull Trial (RBCT) mean what it wants it to mean.   Lord Krebs and Professor Bourne who were involved in the RBCT say their results were misinterpreted.  Mary says it was a wilful misinterpretation, which sounds like a very bad thing..

So we Badgers and Mary and all the Badger-loving Hupeople hold our breaths and pray to whatever gods we believe in that the murderous insanity will stop.

Let's not talk about such horrible things any more today.   I want to tell you about the new feature at Defra Nobel House.  They now have a jolly Ice Cream Van that comes and visits them at lunchtime.  The staff become very excited and turn into little Hucubs when they eat their 99 ice creams with brown logs in them.  Mary says the logs are made of chocolate.  I think there must be a law about noise pollution in Westminster because the Ice Cream Van doesn't sing a song and that is probably a good thing because it would hurt my ears and my innate Badger sense of harmony.  I wish Mary would buy me a 99...  Here is  the Ice Cream Van:

 We got very hot indeed on our recent trips to Defra.  One Thursday it was so hot that Mary wouldn't let me come with her.  It was 35 degrees in London, Mary said.  Of course without me Mary doesn't make much of an impact but I think she must have made some impact because she got mauled by one of the strange Humen who hang around in Great Peter Street. Luckily a Huwoman came to her rescue and shouted at him and he ran away.  Actually, another odd character kissed me on my long furry nose the previous week so even a huge badger isn't safe  outside Defra.

Another Angel came to our rescue last week when we were fainting with the heat. A Huwoman from America came along and thrust a blue container into my paw.  She told me it was a cold soya latte.  It looked very odd as it had lumps of glass in the cup. 

Mary told me it was frozen water and not glass so we shared it.  It really perked us up and probably saved us from heatstroke.  Some Hupeople are wonderful.   But some are not.. like those Badge Baiters you might have heard about but it upsets me too much to write about.  Mary says they are going to prison for six months.  I hope they get hurt at least as much in prison as they hurt the badgers and the dogs.

I really don't understand how these Hupeople take pleasure in hurting innocent animals.  And Defra has made matters worse for Badgers because the Badger Kill-Cull has given the cruel Humen an excuse for killing us Badgers since the government it also doing it.  Mary says it has given farmers and thugs open season on killing Badgers.  This is so sad.

I meet so many interesting people outside Defra.  Last week I met a man who, like me, couldn't read.  And he wasn't at all worried about it as he gets by.  Mary had to tell him what our signs meant, such as the one I wear which says "I am innocent".  We also chat to the Human whose mother is getting dotty and Mary gives him good advice. We also have lots and lots of support from Hupeople who says things such as "Thank you for doing  this for the Badgers" and "Keep it up Betty".  And we get our pictures taken every week and we are all over social media, whatever that is. And we get those lovely Defra angels who keep us safe from mad and angry Hupeople that wander round London Town streets and who stop us dying from heat stroke and despair.

Here is a nice picture of a Badger to remind us how lovely Badgers are and what we are fighting for..

If you have a God please pray that Theresa Villiers will have the courage to stop the Kill-Cull.  It is wrong and cruel and, one day, you Hupeople will see how wrong you were to do this to innocent Badgers.

Night Night,

Betty 🐾🐾🐾

Mary Meets Michael Gove and they have A Big Talk

Hello Fans.  You will hardly believe what I have to tell you.  Mary was invited to see Mr Gove, the Secretary of State for Farming and the Environment and Killing Badgers.    I was so excited when they said that I, Betty Badger, could come too .  Sadly they changed their minds at the last minute and said Mary had to come alone.  I think they were worried I would poo on the carpet....  Still, Mary snuck one of the cubs in her brief case and Bud told me all about the meeting.  Here is a picture of Bud after coming back from seeing Mr Gove:

Although Mary has met Mr Gove many times, they have never said much more than Hello so she was very excited to meet him properly.  He kept to his word of seeing her within 2 months of his agreement to see her. 

Mary wanted to be taken seriously so she put on her best funeral suit and her shoe stilts and even used hair spray, which is a form of horrible chemical warfare.  When Mary arrived at 2 Marsham Street, Bob the security man didn't recognise her as she does scrub up quite well.  He told her she was beautiful and after that there was no stopping her!

Security at 2 Marsham Street is very very strict because it is a Seat of Power where the Home Office as well as Defra is based.  Mary had her own personal escort to take her to the hallowed halls of Defra, with its glass walls overlooking London Town. Mary was almost moved to tears by all the kindness she received from everyone because they knew she was my friend and I have lots of Betty fans at Marsham Street.  They were all excited to see her and they even called her Betty and offered her a cup of coffee. Mr Gove's lovely driver came and sat with Mary and told her not to worry because Mr Gove is the nicest of all the politicians he has ever met. 

You probably want to know what happened when Mary met Mr Gove.  She said he was courteous, respectful, that he listened carefully and seemed to take on board some of  the things she said such as:


1. The government has spent £50 million on killing innocent Badgers when they could have invested that money in creating cattle vaccine.  We were promised that by 2014.

2. It is said that government kills Badgers because the NFU (National Farmers Union) has Defra in its pocket. Many big farmers hate badgers because we sometimes flatten a bit of wheat  or make a hole in a fence when we have our night time parties and occasionally one of our tunnels collapses and a tractor can get stuck.  But perhaps NFU hates us most of all because we are a protected species so they should not build houses on our land or disturb us, so we get in the way of making profits. Minette Batters is the head of the NFU and hates Badgers.  Here she is:

3. Professor Godfray who wrote a report for Defra, said that the main way TB is spread is from Cow to Cow. Something like 60% of farmers in high TB areas recently admitted in Farmers Weekly that their bio-security isn't good enough.  If  your read my blogs regularly, you will know that the only time when TB was under control in this country was when we had that dreadful Foot and Mouth Disease and all Cow movements were stopped and there was strict bio-security.

4. Professor Godfray also said that the government should move away from killing Badgers as it can only have a minimal effect on TB and he said, in  any case, it would be cheaper and more effective to vaccinate Badgers than to kill them.  

5. There is no scientific justification for killing Badgers. They are just one of many species of Wildlife who are victims of this Cow disease

6. Almost all wildlife and veterinary experts agreed that killing Badgers is wrong and cruel and will not stop the problem with TB which is a disease spread by Cows and farmers.

7. We must use the more reliable (and expensive) test for TB in Cows as the present one is less useful than tossing a coin, so sick Cows are moving around the country making other Cows sick and making Wildlife sick.  Even Water Voles have caught TB from Cows.  It would be more logical for Defra to kill ALL wildlife in areas where there is TB in cows and I wouldn't be surprised if that was their next plan. 

8. Mr Gove has recently taken a courageous stand about the big game hunting of Tigers and other innocent Animals.  Mary says that Badgers are British Tigers and Elephants; they are disliked because they get in the way of farmers and expanding Hupeople communities so they are killed.  Some British Hupeople criticise these other countries for killing their wildlife yet we are doing the same.  This is a Tiger.  

Mary hopes Mr Gove will have the courage to transform his Legacy from The Secretary of State who oversaw the destruction of our ancient and "protected" Badger population (including me and my family) or whether his Legacy will be as The Secretary of State who had the Courage to defy the pressure from Vested Interests such as the NFU and adopted a policy based on science and not scapegoats. 

Mary has a plan which all fans know about of vaccinating Cows, and vaccinating Badgers where there is lots of TB, to save them from catching it from Cows and suffering.

Anyway, Mary did the best she could for us Badger folk, but she is left believing that Mr Gove will kill another 50,000 badgers this Autumn FOR NO REASON OTHER THAN TO ALLOW THE GOVERNMENT TO SAVE FACE AND PLEASE THE FARMERS.  And my cubs and grandcubs will be cruelly shot, just like my Brian and Byrony were. 

Still, there was a hopeful sign in an announcement on Farming Today on the wireless a couple of days ago about Cow vaccination.  It might be ready in a year.

So Mr Gove and Defra please stop killing innocent Badgers NOW and increase bio-security.  As one of Mary's Signs says BIO-SECURITY NOT BULLETS! and another says VACCINATE NOT EXTERMINATE.

Mary took me to Defra again this week, but on a Friday because some of our Badger and Hupeople friends were having a Die In and Protest.  It rained buckets, but we Badgers like rain.  Mary used a microphone three times and spoke very loudly and got cheered. She is normally very shy, except when it comes to talking about Wildlife. Here are some pictures:  

 

The other Badgers fell asleep because they are not as tough as me, Betty, as I'm an old hand after 2 years going to Defra during daylight hours. We had such a jolly time meeting old friends and making lots of noise for Badgers.  We did all get very very wet and muddy though and when we got home Mary washed all the cubs and put them on the line to dry.  They thought it was a merry go round:

I wonder if you heard about Brian the Badger who hitched a lift all the way from Ware in Hertfordshire to London. I would like to meet him because he sounds an adventurous sort of Badger Chap like me.  However, I would like to let him know that there are easier and safer ways getting to London Town, such as finding a Huwoman to carry you up and down hundreds of steps in a Betty Bag so you don't have to make any effort at all.  Here  is a picture of Brian after he was disentangled from the Metal box on wheels by the RSPCA .  It had a happy ending because he is now back with his family.

Mary now has nine Rescue Chickens as well as an ancient Mother who she has rescued too.  Rescue Mother has come to live with Mary while her bones mend. Mary has bought a Play house for her Chickens to keep them dry and cool.  She lets the Rescue Mother stay in her own house, which I think is probably better than being outside with the Chickens. Here are some of the new chickens:  

The new and old Chickens fight all the time because they have culture called "a pecking order" which means that you peck and pull out each other's feathers until you work out who is top Chicken.  Bottom Chicken gets pecked by everyone. Mary and Rescue Mother haven't quite worked out yet who is top Huwoman in Mary's house.  Life is much less complicated when you are a Badger, apart from everyone trying to kill you 

of course.

PS Michael Gove might lose his job this week.  I think he has tried to do some good things for the planet but Boris Johnson doesn't like him so will probably send him to Northern Ireland, which is a very long way from London Town.  We will miss his cheery Hello

Night Night
Betty 🐾🐾🐾

Betty and the American

Hello Fans.
Hello Mr Gove. Please don't forget your promise to meet with me and Mary within 2 months and we are more than half way through that now.  Yes we Badgers and sensible Hupeople know you are busy but we are all sick and tired of the Conservatory Party egotistical power and preening games which will not help Hupeople or save Badgers' lives in our country.  Mary and I want you to be Prime Minister because if Mr Johnson wins he wants Fox hunting in London.  I don't think I will be safe either outside DEFRA.

Big Americans have featured in London recently. Donald Trump the Big Chief Executive of America (dis)graced our shores and caused a big hullabaloo.  He met The Queen. I do hope he was gentle when he shook her hand.  Those big businessmen apparently like to squash each others paws to show how strong they are. I hope her servants reminded him about her RSI from all that waving.  She probably has osteoporosis too at her age.  I wonder if she is at home in her castle now nursing her broken fingers.  In this picture you can see her keeping her hands well away from Mr Trump:

We spent £25  million pounds making Mr Trump safe which is considerably less than the £40 million the Government has spent on killing 70,000 badgers and is as big a waste of money.

Mr Trump left by the time I got to DEFRA but I did meet my own big American called Ken. who came to find out why I was hanging around Marsham Street.  Ken and I got to talking about disease and I explained that there is no scientific reason to justify the Government killing us Badgers.  He told me how disease often starts in Pigs and Chickens especially in China and India where they are kept in very bad conditions.  I didn't like to mention what Mary told me about the horrific factory farming conditions Animals endure in America but apparently that's OK because they have plenty of bleach and antibiotics solve that.  These pictures are of Chicken and egg farms in America:

A bit different from the lives Mary's chickens lead:

Anyway Ken said that not only are Chickens and Pigs the problem but Americans also have to deal with Creatures called Mexicans which are apparently riddled with disease and are trying to invade America and infect everyone. Ken is very keen for Donald Trump to build his wall to keep the plague out.  I had no idea what a Mexican was, perhaps a bit like a weasel or a rat, but Mary just showed me a picture on the internet oracle and I have to say that they look remarkably like Hupeople.  This is a picture of a Mexican I found 

Last week at Smith Square we met an old bearded Human calling in to see his friend in DEFRA.  He asked me lots of questions about Badgers.  He told me that old story about Badgers being responsible for wiping out Hedge Hogs; regular readers will know that, although we do like the occasional Hedgehog snack, it is farming, roads and housing development is killing off our Hedge Hogs, and they are also killing us Badgers.  He said there were far too many Badgers in the UK; he said 4 million.  Mary checked later and it is less that half a million, so DEFRA has killed 70,000, that is one seventh, of the 490,000 Badgers in the UK.   The Bearded Human said they should have killed more as we have no natural predators.  

OK we don't have Wolves and Bears any more but we do have metal boxes on wheels, who kill 45,000 Badgers on the road every year.  Then we have Farmers and Badger Baiters who kill us and hurt us secretly because they hate us.  A lot of us are dying of hunger and thirst especially as summers are getting so hot. He asked if DEFRA should give us Badgers contraceptives.  I do love my cubs but being dead is worse than not having cubs.

Anyway, on a less sad note I was hanging around the Great Peter Street DEFRA staff entrance musing about Huwomen's clothes.  So many Huwomen stagger around on shoe stilts, or High Heels as they call them, risking the health of their feet and falling over. 

Some of these Huwomen are supposed to be very intelligent and in positions of power but I am not sure I would take them seriously if they are wearing shoe stilts because how can they have their minds on the job when their feet are hurting and they are worried about taking a tumble?  And did you know that some bosses force their Huwomen staff to wear shoe stilts? Apparently it makes them look smart and sexy.  Badgers don't have to wear paw stilts to look sexy- we just exude it.   I tried on some old shoe stilts and think I looked very silly . I suppose it is a bit like what the Chinese used to do to their Huwomen cubs binding their feet in times gone by until the Foot Emancipation Society fought to stop it.  Perhaps we need to revive the organisation so women can wear flat foot coverings if they wish.

Do you know that DEFRA staff are still very nervous about being seen talking to me even though I am now An Institution.  One of my signs fell over yesterday but the staff member was afraid to pick it up in case the CCTV camera saw him. 

Mary and I were delighted to see our old friend, The Man with the Very White Shirt, again this week.  He has a very important job in the Government, but I can't tell you what because I am sworn to Secrecy.   He thinks Mr Gove would make a good Prime Minister.   We  were also made very happy when a young DEFRA man came rushing after us waving his sandwich.  I was happy because I thought I was getting his sandwich.  Mary was happy because he said how wonderful we were to be making a stand for the Animals.   Shame about the sandwich....

Mary hasn't been well the last couple of weeks as first she hurt her back and then she felt sick.  Her friends told her not to go to DEFRA but she did anyway.  She thought about tweeting Mr Gove to ask if his lovely driver could pick her up so she wouldn't have to carry me up and down the 134 steps she has to climb with her Betty Bag every journey.  But she is independent and she knows Mr Gove is very busy just now polishing his image, and his shoes, so he can be the next Prime Minister.   Still I don't think Mary should have gone this week as I could hear her moaning all night from my sett.  She is better now.

Oh, and she is getting six more chickens this weekend who are being released from the egg laying industry.  People such as Mary save them from being slaughtered when they are 18 months old and their egg production goes down. At least if she has that many chickens she won't notice if the odd egg goes missing...

Thank you to Tom and Jane and Kay and the other lovely Hupeople who have left heart warming messages om my blogs .  We love you and thank you.

Betty.🐾🐾🐾