Cubs are always a worry and The Queen has had a few problems with hers. Bickering and naughtiness are inevitable in the young ones but we still love them. The Queen is luckier than me though because Defra isn't determined to shoot her cubs. I lost my cub Bryony last year when she was shot in the Kill-Cull.
Also like the Queen, I have RSI from all the waving I do, although I only wave on Thursdays outside Defra. The poor Queen can be called on to wave any day of the week!
Some of this year's high points relate to my weekly vigil at Defra. Kind-hearted Hupeople have brought me food and drink such as iced soya lattes, peanut butter and Marmite sandwiches, apples and cups of tea. I have made friends who have protected me from being hurt by nasty Hupeople who attacked me and my Huwoman Mary.
Oh and we missed being stabbed by 5 minutes by a crazy Human with a Ferret and a knife in Marsham Street. We were very lucky.
A major high point was being invited to meet Michael Gove who listened carefully to Mary. He seemed to be intent on helping us and then he lost his job because of a General Election.
Theresa Villiers took over. She has never been seen at Defra and we believe she is actually locked in a cupboard in case she says something that undermines Conservatory Party policies. Either that or she is a CGI creation and doesn't really exist at all.
We had a few jolly protests outside Defra:
but it wasn't very nice when the Police threatened to arrest me and Mary. They were worried because Extinction Rebellion were sitting down in the road and drinking tea and sticking themselves to trains and windows and walls and street furniture so they were angry with anyone who was protesting.
They called me "A MAGNET FOR TROUBLE" . The lovely Defra staff and security men said I was in fact "A DEFRA INSTITUTION"!
Another high point was having a party outside Defra in Marsham Street and eating cake in the shape of the world with Bertie. Bertie and I have had lots of slap and tickle together which led me to carry little cubs inside my belly.
Oh and me and Mary became media super stars appearing on Radio 4 Woman's Hour and iPM. Today we had a big article with a picture of me in the local news paper. We are hoping to get on to the Today programme too.
We were so excited to meet Jenni Murray
Although me and Mary have been insulted and hit and shouted at, all that is as nothing compared with the dreadful Kill-Cull. We Badgers and Badger-Loving Hupeople all wanted Labour to win the General Election because they promised they would stop killing us.
The Conservatory Government has now killed around 130,000 Badger Folk, around 64,000 this year, although they haven't released the figures yet, which is odd because they always do before the Xmas recess. They probably thought it would stop kind Hupeople voting for them. They will probably carry on killing us for five more years and that breaks all our hearts. And there is no scientific reason for doing that.
Do you remember my blog with the sad picture of Dead Badgers bagged and binned and ready for burning. I said in then I bet Defra doesn't test those Badgers before they burn their little bodies because they don't want the public to know how few Badgers have Cow TB. Well, Mary wrote to Defra to ask that question and, after six weeks, they confirmed that they do NOT test the Badgers before burning them (except in Cumbria) so there is no evidence that we are spreading TB.
Anyway, Boris Johnson is responsible for making me and Mary stand outside Defra on Thursdays for another five years. She will be very, very old by then and will definitely be wearing Tena Lady Pants extra absorbent. I will probably be dead. But we are not giving up.
Other good news this year was the Professor Godfray report in which he said that vaccinating Badgers would be cheaper and more effective than killing us. And the RSPCA said that killing Badgers was just a distraction from dealing with the real causes of TB including Biosecurity. Did Defra take any notice of these Experts? Of course not, because the NFU hates Badgers and has Defra in it's pockets.
And then there are Mary's 15 chickens. Is that good news or bad? Her lovely garden is now very muddy and smelly but, when Mary is not looking, I nip in and steal an egg or two or three.... She wonders why they only lay a few eggs a day. Please don't tell her I am enjoying some nice eggs for my breakfast every night. At least I am not eating the Chickens which it is in my nature to do. I am showing immense restraint for a Badger, but Mary is my friend and companion now and she has enough stress without me making her sadder.
Anyway, I think I am a little sad myself having made the decision not to let my cubs come to fruition. I told you that we Badgers can hold on to our embryos for a year or two so they will be born in better times. It doesn't look as if better times are coming very quickly for us Badgers, so I have reabsorbed my four little cubs because the world is just too cruel a place for me to bring vulnerable Badger cubs into a life of fear and danger.
Sorry that's not very festive but is is the reality for Badgers and Foxes and Crows and Buzzards and Bees and all the other Creatures Hupeople choose to kill or hurt. You do so much damage with your hunting and your chemicals and your farming and your cars and your overpopulating and so many species are dying out.
Anyway, the old year has ended and I recall with affection our trip to the Conservatory Party Conference in Man Chester where we met lots of kind Hupeople, even Conservatories who don't agree with the Kill-Cull. We were left with a little hope. But more importantly, I was the first Badger ever to travel First Class on a Virgin Train and drink Gin and Tonic which made me sneeze and snooze. I would like to try that again.
Mary and I are having a week off from Defra this week as it will be the day after your Xmas and we both need a break. I will stay in my sett with my family and Mary will stay in her garden with her chickens. We will both be eating peanut butter and Marmite sandwiches. Heaven!
Happy New Year from Betty (and Mary and the Chickens and the Cats). May your sett be warm and your earth be full of worms.
🐾🐾🐾🐾 XX 🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐱🐱
