Hello Betty Fans, I want to tell you about Hope, Harassment and Heroes.
So much going on that we have been too busy to write anything. We have three whole DEFRA days to tell you about. Mr Gove features in our stories.
Do you remember my Invitation? Well, some lovely Hupeople came to spend the whole day with me. Oh, they love Badgers and they came from the West Country where DEFRA is Kill-Culling so many of our kin. They are so sad and do everything they can to save their Badger friends but horrible Humen with flash-bang sticks tempt the Badgers at night with peanuts and then they shoot them. Some other lovely Badger friends came too from other places bringing big banners. Here are some pictures of my friends who came to support me:
It was especially sad because is it rained and it rained and it rained. My fur got so heavy that I could hardly stand up and I could ring water out of my paws. They all stood bravely in the monsoon conditions. But perhaps it was a good thing because Mr Gove came out and felt so sorry for us that he stopped for a chat under his HUGE National Trust Umbrella. One of the Huwomen, Hazel or Ali. spoke to him about the Badger Kill-Cull and asked him for an appointment with me as I have been doggedly (Badgerdly) hanging around outside DEFRA for two years. He said, yes, he was aware of Betty and yes, he will see me within the next two months! WOW! Isn't that wonderful?
Mary is so excited about meeting Mr Gove that she has had several dreams about him. In one of them he wasn't very nice and spoke Political Platitudes. In the other he was lovely and said he would stop the Badger Kill-Cull. I don't like to remind Mary that it is me, Betty, that Mr Gove wants to meet and not her Mary wrote a long letter to Mr Gove confirming our appointment and giving him my solution to the problem of Cow TB. I hope he has time to read it. It is My solution . I wonder if we should bring him a present when we see him; some worms perhaps or some peanuts.
Last week I had another lovely Badger friend called Susanna who stood with me and Mary all day. She handed out lots of leaflets and we had chats and got to know each other. Mr Gove smiled at us again. I hope Susanna comes again but she had to take a day off work to be with us; what a generous person. She loves animals and doesn't eat them; even worms! She took some nice pictures of me:
This week at DEFRA was not so good because we had some problems. A background problem was that it was very hot and me and Mary felt unwell.
At Smith Square a man yelled at us saying that Badgers are "the worst predators in the countryside " and then ran away up the stairs into DEFRA Nobel House. Mary asked him to come and talk about it but he ignored her and ran away. He was clearly a coward. I tried to reassure her that he was jealous because Badgers are actually the Best predators in the countryside- even the foxes get out of our way
Things got worse when we moved from Smith Square to Great Peter Street. That was where a Human threatened to shoot me a few weeks ago. This week a Human shouted at me and hit my face. We were very scared and Mary began to cry because she gets upset when Hupeople are aggressive particularly when they are drunk and irrational. I got drunk once when I ate lots of rotting apples. I felt very ill afterwards... This is a picture from the internet oracle of an angry drunk Human, but of not our Human in case he gets revenge:
But two lovely heroic Human Badger friends came to our aid and saved us from the nasty angry Human. They stood by us and calmed the Human down and called the security Hupeople and kept us safe. We are so grateful for their kindness. One of them, who wants to remain anonymous, said he had to protect Betty Badger because she is "an institution". I thought an institution was where you put sick Hupeople but apparently it also means "a custom or tradition that has existed for a long time and is accepted as an important part of a particular society".
Betty is an Institution of DEFRA.
But that wasn't all. When we went round to 2 Marsham Street we noticed a bicycle with a big bag on it attached to a railing . I have heard all about Bombs so I was very scared and tried to get Mary to take me home. But the security Human called Bob was very brave and put his life at risk to save us. When the Human who had left is bike returned Bob gave him a very firm telling off.
We saw Mr Gove again today but he is very preoccupied with preparing to be in the race to be the next Prime minister now that the Cupboard (or is is the Cabinet?) has nearly destroyed Mrs May and they want to replace her. Mr Gove is always very neat, but today I think he had a new suit on and he was beautifully groomed with not a hair out of place. He didn't speak to me today because he was hurrying off to a meeting. Mary said that his chance of being the next PM would not be enhanced by being photographed talking to a Badger. Although apparently it is OK to be pictured with a Cow.....
or a dog.....
On the subject of dogs a very sad thing happened. Do you remember the homeless Pimlico Dog? We saw him today wandering along Marsham Street. We ran down the road trying to help him because he looked tired and thirsty. Then we heard that he was with a "rough looking man" so he had a friend but, sadly, he was so thirsty that he was drinking out of the Home Office Moat that has Chlorine in the water. Mary will be getting help for the Dog.
Mary wants to tell you that she still has 4 chickens, She has achieved this by spending her life savings on electric fences and cages and by staying awake all night worrying and getting up every time she thinks she hears something. I think the chickens will be the death of her. She put her new expensive night camera out and has discovered that foxes wander around her garden all night. They have their cubs now so have to feed them so she understands why they ate her chicken. She said she might as well get more chickens now to improve the cost benefit ratio. I said that I could only see the cost and little benefit to having chickens if she doesn't eat their eggs- or even give them to me. She says they make her laugh; there hasn't been much evidence of that lately!
When Mary put out her night camera she discovered that I have a new Badger friend. Here is a picture of us playing together in her garden along with one of the foxes. His name is Bertie Badger and I think we might mate soon. I will never forget my old mate Brian but a Badger has needs....
Just as we were leaving to go home today we met a Human who came to talk to us about Badgers and Squirrels. He had a packet of peanuts in their shells and he was on his way to feed the Squirrels. One who is called Cyril the Squirrel likes him so much that he sit on his shoulder to eat nuts. DEFRA wants to kill Grey Squirrels but he thinks we need lots more in London as there are so many parks and not enough Squirrels to go round. What a happy loving Human and a positive note to finish on.
Night Night,
Betty 🐾🐾🐾
Hello Betty Fans,
I have a bad paw. Mary took me to the Vet who said I have RSI ....from waving. If you have seen me outside DEFRA you will know how I wave at everyone I see and that's a lot of waving every Thursday for the last 2 years.
RSI means Repetitive Strain Injury and in caused by repetitive movements. It is also called Occupational Overuse Injury and Overuse Syndrome. I suppose standing outside DEFRA has become my Occupation... I wonder how many other Creatures have RSI from waving... I can only think of one, The Queen.
Some people say The Huwoman Queen has an artificial hand that waves for her, but I don't think she does. I might write to her as we have the same Medical Condition in common. Perhaps she will be my friend and stop the Badger Kill-Cull.
If you have been to London Town or if you listen to The Media you will have heard about Extinction Rebellion. They describe themselves as:
a socio-political movement which uses nonviolent resistance to protest against climate breakdown, biodiversity loss, and the risk of human extinction and ecological collapse.
I wonder if they include Badgers in "Biodiversity Loss". As Badgers are part of Biodiversity. I suppose that means they don't want badgers killed. I'd better have a chat with them. They have been lying around in the streets and gluing themselves to trains and to each other.
Well, on Thursday I met one of the Representatives of Extinction Rebellion in Marsham Street and I asked for his advice. I asked how come he managed to get an interview with Mr Gove for lying around for a week whereas I have been hanging around for 2 years and still Mr Gove won't give me and Mary an appointment. He told me that I should lie in the road too. He said it's legal to lie in the road for 7 minutes and then I have to get up or I could be arrested.
He was a kind and helpful Human but I don't think he really understands how life is for Badgers. 50,000 Badgers die on the road in Britain every year when metal boxes on wheels run over them, and that happens when we are scurrying as fast as we can. If we lie around in the road for seven minutes then hundreds of thousands of us would die and I don't think it would change Government policy.
While I was outside DEFRA on Thursday minding my own Badger Business and giving myself RSI, a crazy Human kept calling to me. Then he started yelling, "I'm going to shoot that Badger" I was very worried . They took him away in an ambulance eventually; maybe he had mental health problems like so many Hupeople who want to kill Badgers. I might have to call on the lovely Police Humen that protected me in Man Chester at the Conservatory Party Conference:
Mary has had an email from some Hupeople in Somerset and they want to come and visit me next Thursday. They are even hiring a coach and coming all that way to London Town. I do hope it doesn't rain on them and we can have a picnic; I hope they bring worms and peanuts for me. Other fans like you can come too. I start at DEFRA Smith Square (17 St John Smith's Square) at 11.30 then move on to DEFRA staff entrance of Seacole Buiding Great Peter Street at 12.30 and then go on to Marsham Street at 1.30. This is our regular routine.
We didn't see Mr Gove this week, but it was local election day and he was probably sitting in a darkened room with the other Politicians chewing their finger nails. We did meet him last week when he was popping out for his lunch and he said Hello. I have decided that it is time me and Mary had a meeting with him. We only want a fifteen minutes. It is difficult to see him because his Minders protect him from ordinary Creatures like me and Mary. I bet if Mary was a Millionaire she would get to see him. I suppose we are not important enough and we are not causing enough trouble, but I think we deserve a few minutes with Mr Gove because of 2 years of Thursdays, three visits to the Conservatory Party Conferences and Mary's back and my RSI and the 70,000 dead Badgers we want to speak up for.
If you are a literary Huperson you might have noticed the poetical reference in the title of my blog. It comes from a poem by Stevie Smith. Here it is for the less literary:
Nobody heard him, the dead man,
But still he lay moaning:
I was much further out than you thought
And not waving but drowning.
Poor chap, he always loved larking
And now he's dead
It must have been too cold for him his heart gave way,
They said.
Oh, no no no, it was too cold always
(Still the dead one lay moaning)
I was much too far out all my life
And not waving but drowning.
Mary says that's how she feels sometimes outside DEFRA when she thinks that no one is watching or listening. I tell her that she has lots of friends at DEFRA and in the Badger Groups and they will not let her and me drown under the tidal wave of our sadness if the Badger kill-cull continues for much longer.,
When I started writing this Blog last night this next paragraph started "Mary still has five chickens which is pretty miraculous considering how the Foxes visit her garden". Tragically just after dawn this morning the Fox ate Ginger. Mary is terribly sad and says she won't leave the garden so she can look after them.
I think it is still a good thing that she has them, even though she is sad at the moment, because they make her laugh and they follow her around like adoring fans. Of course they do because she feeds them! They are getting more adventurous and wandering into the countryside. They also prevent her growing food in her garden by taking dust baths in her seed beds. They do enjoy that. Mary has decided to grow her vegetables in pots where the chickens can't get at them. Here is a picture of them having a bath:
Chickens are surprisingly clever and when Mary leaves the kitchen door open they dash straight in and eat the cat food. It is their favourite food in the world. Because of this Mary's other cat Lola hates the Chickens and has sabotaged the chickens by going to the toilet in their dust bath. They really won't like that! Lola is jealous of the chickens so is punishing Mary by destroying the vegetables she is now growing in pots. No home grown vegetables for Mary this year!
I had better stop now and try to cheer Mary up over the loss of Ginger. Mary is sad but philosophical about her loss because she understands that Foxes have their Cubs this time of year and have to feed them. Still, Mary has just ordered an electric fence...
See you on Thursday!
Night Night,
Betty 🐾🐾🐾
