Hello Mr Gove. Please don't forget your promise to meet with me and Mary within 2 months and we are more than half way through that now. Yes we Badgers and sensible Hupeople know you are busy but we are all sick and tired of the Conservatory Party egotistical power and preening games which will not help Hupeople or save Badgers' lives in our country. Mary and I want you to be Prime Minister because if Mr Johnson wins he wants Fox hunting in London. I don't think I will be safe either outside DEFRA.
We spent £25 million pounds making Mr Trump safe which is considerably less than the £40 million the Government has spent on killing 70,000 badgers and is as big a waste of money.
Mr Trump left by the time I got to DEFRA but I did meet my own big American called Ken. who came to find out why I was hanging around Marsham Street. Ken and I got to talking about disease and I explained that there is no scientific reason to justify the Government killing us Badgers. He told me how disease often starts in Pigs and Chickens especially in China and India where they are kept in very bad conditions. I didn't like to mention what Mary told me about the horrific factory farming conditions Animals endure in America but apparently that's OK because they have plenty of bleach and antibiotics solve that. These pictures are of Chicken and egg farms in America:
A bit different from the lives Mary's chickens lead:
Anyway Ken said that not only are Chickens and Pigs the problem but Americans also have to deal with Creatures called Mexicans which are apparently riddled with disease and are trying to invade America and infect everyone. Ken is very keen for Donald Trump to build his wall to keep the plague out. I had no idea what a Mexican was, perhaps a bit like a weasel or a rat, but Mary just showed me a picture on the internet oracle and I have to say that they look remarkably like Hupeople. This is a picture of a Mexican I found
Last week at Smith Square we met an old bearded Human calling in to see his friend in DEFRA. He asked me lots of questions about Badgers. He told me that old story about Badgers being responsible for wiping out Hedge Hogs; regular readers will know that, although we do like the occasional Hedgehog snack, it is farming, roads and housing development is killing off our Hedge Hogs, and they are also killing us Badgers. He said there were far too many Badgers in the UK; he said 4 million. Mary checked later and it is less that half a million, so DEFRA has killed 70,000, that is one seventh, of the 490,000 Badgers in the UK. The Bearded Human said they should have killed more as we have no natural predators.
OK we don't have Wolves and Bears any more but we do have metal boxes on wheels, who kill 45,000 Badgers on the road every year. Then we have Farmers and Badger Baiters who kill us and hurt us secretly because they hate us. A lot of us are dying of hunger and thirst especially as summers are getting so hot. He asked if DEFRA should give us Badgers contraceptives. I do love my cubs but being dead is worse than not having cubs.
Anyway, on a less sad note I was hanging around the Great Peter Street DEFRA staff entrance musing about Huwomen's clothes. So many Huwomen stagger around on shoe stilts, or High Heels as they call them, risking the health of their feet and falling over.
Some of these Huwomen are supposed to be very intelligent and in positions of power but I am not sure I would take them seriously if they are wearing shoe stilts because how can they have their minds on the job when their feet are hurting and they are worried about taking a tumble? And did you know that some bosses force their Huwomen staff to wear shoe stilts? Apparently it makes them look smart and sexy. Badgers don't have to wear paw stilts to look sexy- we just exude it. I tried on some old shoe stilts and think I looked very silly . I suppose it is a bit like what the Chinese used to do to their Huwomen cubs binding their feet in times gone by until the Foot Emancipation Society fought to stop it. Perhaps we need to revive the organisation so women can wear flat foot coverings if they wish.
Do you know that DEFRA staff are still very nervous about being seen talking to me even though I am now An Institution. One of my signs fell over yesterday but the staff member was afraid to pick it up in case the CCTV camera saw him.
Mary and I were delighted to see our old friend, The Man with the Very White Shirt, again this week. He has a very important job in the Government, but I can't tell you what because I am sworn to Secrecy. He thinks Mr Gove would make a good Prime Minister. We were also made very happy when a young DEFRA man came rushing after us waving his sandwich. I was happy because I thought I was getting his sandwich. Mary was happy because he said how wonderful we were to be making a stand for the Animals. Shame about the sandwich....
Mary hasn't been well the last couple of weeks as first she hurt her back and then she felt sick. Her friends told her not to go to DEFRA but she did anyway. She thought about tweeting Mr Gove to ask if his lovely driver could pick her up so she wouldn't have to carry me up and down the 134 steps she has to climb with her Betty Bag every journey. But she is independent and she knows Mr Gove is very busy just now polishing his image, and his shoes, so he can be the next Prime Minister. Still I don't think Mary should have gone this week as I could hear her moaning all night from my sett. She is better now.
Oh, and she is getting six more chickens this weekend who are being released from the egg laying industry. People such as Mary save them from being slaughtered when they are 18 months old and their egg production goes down. At least if she has that many chickens she won't notice if the odd egg goes missing...
Thank you to Tom and Jane and Kay and the other lovely Hupeople who have left heart warming messages om my blogs . We love you and thank you.
Betty.🐾🐾🐾
