Today I start my Blog with a gorgeous picture of a young Badger. The picture is called Badger Blues and it is by Dave Hudson. He won acclaim by getting Highly Commended in an international picture competition called Nature TTL Photographer of the Year. He is a very clever Human and if Badgers had weddings I would ask him to be my photographer. But we don't have weddings,; we have a bit of slap and tickle at every opportunity without any formalities. Here is his gorgeous picture :
I wonder if Mr Hudson knows that we Badgers like eating Blue Bells, particularity the flowers, as they are sweet with nectar and perfume. We have to keep quiet about that because Blue Bells are protected and if Defra finds that out it will give them another reason to kill us. Defra will probably blame us for the spread of Corvid 19 too but the clue is in the name; it's the crows! That's a Badger joke..
The Government has stopped Hupeople from leaving their setts and going to work and shopping and eating. This means that, for the first time in two and a half years, half of my life, we are not going to Defra every week. I do miss my friends in Defra and in St John's Church in Smith Square who were always kind when Mary needed to deal with her ageing bladder. Still, there are some advantages to being old as the nice staff in Waitrose let her into the shop before the younger Hupeople to buy grapes and bananas for me and the chickens.
We have decided to throw away Betty bag number 2 as it was full of holes and there was a danger of a cub falling out. We had hoped to throw it away when the Kill-Cull ended but it looks as if that's not going to happen for a long time. Here is my old Bag with the rubbish.
It feels sad to be saying goodbye to the Betty Bag as it has traveled to the four quarters of the world with me in it. We have been to London and Birmingham and all the way to Man Chester which is must be at the end of the world. Here I am on my travels with my Betty Bag when we were both younger:
Mary seems to be enjoying the isolation from the world and I think is lowering her standards. I'm sure she isn't having as many showers as she now smells more like a Huwoman rather than of soap and shampoo. I noticed Rufus the cat sniffing her armpits the other day when she was lying on the grass staring at the sky; she seems to do a lot of that... The cats were also very disturbed when she spent an hour dancing in the garden. Mary said she was keeping fit but it was probably some sort of mating dance. All of nature is busy courting and mating at the moment.
The Rat family have just had pups and they seem to be taking over Mary's garden so she has moved my Badger Feeding Station into the field behind. It has had lots of visitors and here are some pictures and videos of my night time friends:
Here is the Three Legged fox who is still with us after three months, but might disappear when the new shoot owner starts killing wildlife.
Here are Fallow Family:
And Muntjacs who spend their lives eating and mating:
And finally our tame pheasant. You might need ear plugs for the last bit..
Next time I will show you some of our other Friends
Mary is starting to worry about me and my Friends because a new Game Keeper is taking over the local shoot. This Human has a reputation of hating wildlife and where he worked before all the Badgers and Crows and Foxes and Buzzards and Kites disappeared because he used snares and possibly strychnine, which is illegal. Mary will be keeping a very close eye on things and report him to the Wildlife Police if there are any shenanigans. These are the local Wildlife Police. You don't want to get on the wrong side of them:
Thursday is still Betty Day so me and Mary spent last Thursday reading all the documents about the Defra report saying that the Badger Kill-Cull would be phased out. Mary said this is all poppycock and Weasel words. The announcement was just a public relations stunt by Defra who still have every intention of killing Badgers for many years and they may increase the killing into 18 new areas where they have never killed us before. We are very upset. Here is a picture of me in case you forget what I look like:
And they still haven't announced how many Badgers they killed last Autumn. The Virus is an excuse for hiding bad news and bad policy but me and Mary are not going anywhere and will make sure that we Badgers get in the spotlight.
We Badgers are so relieved that Mr Johnson told Hupeople to stay at home this week and only go out once a day near home. Last week when everyone was told to work from home the countryside was busier than Marsham Street in London. There were Hupeople everywhere, wandering in the woods, and letting their Dogs go where they wanted. Mary says that there is something called "The Divine Right of Dog Owners". This allows Dogs and their owners to go wherever they want to, damaging crops, trampling wild flowers, disturbing and eating the Eggs of ground nesting birds such as Skylarks and Pheasants. They also chase Deer and Sheep and harm our Cubs. Mary likes Dogs but thinks some Dog owners lose their brains when they get Dogs. Probably because they catch Dog Worms. Not all Dog owners are irresponsible and Mary knows some nice thoughtful ones but also knows Dogs that have been allowed to kill wild Deer and their babies and Hares and Pheasant... and Chickens.
On the subject of Chickens, this Virus crisis has transformed Mary from The Mad Chicken Woman to Valuable Member of the Community. This is because she has Eggs and Eggs are in short supply. Everyone is nice to her now. Someone even offered to give her a can of beans in exchange. Here is a picture of the Chickens' Eggs. There should be six but Mary make the mistake of letting me help her collect them and a couple fell into my mouth. They are delicious.
They are all different sizes and colours because the chickens are different sizes and colours. Here is a video of some of the Chickens yesterday enjoying the sun.
That's the sort of strange undignified behaviour we have come to expect of Chickens. And this is a picture of Comet the Chicken who had a hard life laying eggs commercially and even though Mary has cared for her for 4 months she still doesn't have the energy to grow feathers on her bottom.
Mary is enjoying being a recluse. She is good at foraging so will soon be living on weeds and lentils. Her favourite weeds to eat are nettles but they have to be cooked or they sting you. She makes Nettle Mint and Pea soup.
I am wondering how many food poisoning cases will be attending Hospital because of foraging mistakes. You need to know that you are doing or you might mistake Hemlock for Cow Parsley. Hemlock will kill you ...
Which brings us nicely to death. Mary lives next door to a graveyard so is reminded daily about her mortality. But it also lifts our spirits because it is full of wild daffodils that make everyone happy because Spring is back.
Night Night Betty 🐾🐾🐾
