Humpty Dumpty runs Defra

Hello Betty Fans.  Your Favourite Badger here again. Today I want to tell you about Angels, and Ministers and Ice Cream Vans. 

It is all change at Defra. Theresa Villiers is in charge and Mr Goldsmith is her Undersecretary.  That badger-hating Mr Eustice is the Farming Minister.  Mary has already asked for us to meet Mrs Villiers and she also wrote to her on the Book of Faces congratulating her on her new job and asking her to announce a Moratorium on the Killing of Badgers.  That means stop killing us for a while.  This is Ms Villiers:

Unlike Mr Eustice she does have some compassion for Animals as she doesn't like live Animal exports or Fox hunting.  I hear that she was in favour of killing Badgers but perhaps she might change her mind on that.  Mr Goldsmith likes animals and wants to stop the Badger Kill-Cull.  Me and Mary met him once at the Conservatory party Conference and he came and spoke to us. Here he is:

I suppose the important Question this not very bright Badger would like to ask  is "Who is really in charge at Defra and who has the Power?"  Is it the Ministers or is it the Civil Servants or is it the National Farmers Union (NFU). Many people think it is the NFU.  Otherwise why is the government following a policy that is unscientific and cannot work?  The only people who want us Badgers dead is Farmers. 90% of the British public and most vets and scientists want Killing to stop.

Anyway, Mary told me that she has "her heart in her mouth" every day when she wakes up and listens to Farming Today .

I thought that was a bit odd.  I can understand sucking your own fingers and toes but not your internal organs.  Mary says it is doesn't mean that but it means something like holding your breath in anticipation of something dreadful happening.  The dreadful thing Mary is upset about is the announcement  of this year's Badger Kill-Cull.  Last year it was announced on 13th August and that is only a few days away.

I think Mary might have a nervous breakdown if the Kill-Cull goes ahead. I think I will go into my sett and and never come out again in despair, because the rumour is that Defra wants to Kill 50,000 Badger Folk this year and for NO GOOD SCIENTIFIC REASON.   Mary says it is so wrong that it defies understanding.  She says it is as if we live in an Alice in Wonderland world. She told me about  Humpty Dumpty who says that words mean what he wants them to mean.  Defra is making science  and the Randomised Badger Cull Trial (RBCT) mean what it wants it to mean.   Lord Krebs and Professor Bourne who were involved in the RBCT say their results were misinterpreted.  Mary says it was a wilful misinterpretation, which sounds like a very bad thing..

So we Badgers and Mary and all the Badger-loving Hupeople hold our breaths and pray to whatever gods we believe in that the murderous insanity will stop.

Let's not talk about such horrible things any more today.   I want to tell you about the new feature at Defra Nobel House.  They now have a jolly Ice Cream Van that comes and visits them at lunchtime.  The staff become very excited and turn into little Hucubs when they eat their 99 ice creams with brown logs in them.  Mary says the logs are made of chocolate.  I think there must be a law about noise pollution in Westminster because the Ice Cream Van doesn't sing a song and that is probably a good thing because it would hurt my ears and my innate Badger sense of harmony.  I wish Mary would buy me a 99...  Here is  the Ice Cream Van:

 We got very hot indeed on our recent trips to Defra.  One Thursday it was so hot that Mary wouldn't let me come with her.  It was 35 degrees in London, Mary said.  Of course without me Mary doesn't make much of an impact but I think she must have made some impact because she got mauled by one of the strange Humen who hang around in Great Peter Street. Luckily a Huwoman came to her rescue and shouted at him and he ran away.  Actually, another odd character kissed me on my long furry nose the previous week so even a huge badger isn't safe  outside Defra.

Another Angel came to our rescue last week when we were fainting with the heat. A Huwoman from America came along and thrust a blue container into my paw.  She told me it was a cold soya latte.  It looked very odd as it had lumps of glass in the cup. 

Mary told me it was frozen water and not glass so we shared it.  It really perked us up and probably saved us from heatstroke.  Some Hupeople are wonderful.   But some are not.. like those Badge Baiters you might have heard about but it upsets me too much to write about.  Mary says they are going to prison for six months.  I hope they get hurt at least as much in prison as they hurt the badgers and the dogs.

I really don't understand how these Hupeople take pleasure in hurting innocent animals.  And Defra has made matters worse for Badgers because the Badger Kill-Cull has given the cruel Humen an excuse for killing us Badgers since the government it also doing it.  Mary says it has given farmers and thugs open season on killing Badgers.  This is so sad.

I meet so many interesting people outside Defra.  Last week I met a man who, like me, couldn't read.  And he wasn't at all worried about it as he gets by.  Mary had to tell him what our signs meant, such as the one I wear which says "I am innocent".  We also chat to the Human whose mother is getting dotty and Mary gives him good advice. We also have lots and lots of support from Hupeople who says things such as "Thank you for doing  this for the Badgers" and "Keep it up Betty".  And we get our pictures taken every week and we are all over social media, whatever that is. And we get those lovely Defra angels who keep us safe from mad and angry Hupeople that wander round London Town streets and who stop us dying from heat stroke and despair.

Here is a nice picture of a Badger to remind us how lovely Badgers are and what we are fighting for..

If you have a God please pray that Theresa Villiers will have the courage to stop the Kill-Cull.  It is wrong and cruel and, one day, you Hupeople will see how wrong you were to do this to innocent Badgers.

Night Night,

Betty 🐾🐾🐾

Mary Meets Michael Gove and they have A Big Talk

Hello Fans.  You will hardly believe what I have to tell you.  Mary was invited to see Mr Gove, the Secretary of State for Farming and the Environment and Killing Badgers.    I was so excited when they said that I, Betty Badger, could come too .  Sadly they changed their minds at the last minute and said Mary had to come alone.  I think they were worried I would poo on the carpet....  Still, Mary snuck one of the cubs in her brief case and Bud told me all about the meeting.  Here is a picture of Bud after coming back from seeing Mr Gove:

Although Mary has met Mr Gove many times, they have never said much more than Hello so she was very excited to meet him properly.  He kept to his word of seeing her within 2 months of his agreement to see her. 

Mary wanted to be taken seriously so she put on her best funeral suit and her shoe stilts and even used hair spray, which is a form of horrible chemical warfare.  When Mary arrived at 2 Marsham Street, Bob the security man didn't recognise her as she does scrub up quite well.  He told her she was beautiful and after that there was no stopping her!

Security at 2 Marsham Street is very very strict because it is a Seat of Power where the Home Office as well as Defra is based.  Mary had her own personal escort to take her to the hallowed halls of Defra, with its glass walls overlooking London Town. Mary was almost moved to tears by all the kindness she received from everyone because they knew she was my friend and I have lots of Betty fans at Marsham Street.  They were all excited to see her and they even called her Betty and offered her a cup of coffee. Mr Gove's lovely driver came and sat with Mary and told her not to worry because Mr Gove is the nicest of all the politicians he has ever met. 

You probably want to know what happened when Mary met Mr Gove.  She said he was courteous, respectful, that he listened carefully and seemed to take on board some of  the things she said such as:


1. The government has spent £50 million on killing innocent Badgers when they could have invested that money in creating cattle vaccine.  We were promised that by 2014.

2. It is said that government kills Badgers because the NFU (National Farmers Union) has Defra in its pocket. Many big farmers hate badgers because we sometimes flatten a bit of wheat  or make a hole in a fence when we have our night time parties and occasionally one of our tunnels collapses and a tractor can get stuck.  But perhaps NFU hates us most of all because we are a protected species so they should not build houses on our land or disturb us, so we get in the way of making profits. Minette Batters is the head of the NFU and hates Badgers.  Here she is:

3. Professor Godfray who wrote a report for Defra, said that the main way TB is spread is from Cow to Cow. Something like 60% of farmers in high TB areas recently admitted in Farmers Weekly that their bio-security isn't good enough.  If  your read my blogs regularly, you will know that the only time when TB was under control in this country was when we had that dreadful Foot and Mouth Disease and all Cow movements were stopped and there was strict bio-security.

4. Professor Godfray also said that the government should move away from killing Badgers as it can only have a minimal effect on TB and he said, in  any case, it would be cheaper and more effective to vaccinate Badgers than to kill them.  

5. There is no scientific justification for killing Badgers. They are just one of many species of Wildlife who are victims of this Cow disease

6. Almost all wildlife and veterinary experts agreed that killing Badgers is wrong and cruel and will not stop the problem with TB which is a disease spread by Cows and farmers.

7. We must use the more reliable (and expensive) test for TB in Cows as the present one is less useful than tossing a coin, so sick Cows are moving around the country making other Cows sick and making Wildlife sick.  Even Water Voles have caught TB from Cows.  It would be more logical for Defra to kill ALL wildlife in areas where there is TB in cows and I wouldn't be surprised if that was their next plan. 

8. Mr Gove has recently taken a courageous stand about the big game hunting of Tigers and other innocent Animals.  Mary says that Badgers are British Tigers and Elephants; they are disliked because they get in the way of farmers and expanding Hupeople communities so they are killed.  Some British Hupeople criticise these other countries for killing their wildlife yet we are doing the same.  This is a Tiger.  

Mary hopes Mr Gove will have the courage to transform his Legacy from The Secretary of State who oversaw the destruction of our ancient and "protected" Badger population (including me and my family) or whether his Legacy will be as The Secretary of State who had the Courage to defy the pressure from Vested Interests such as the NFU and adopted a policy based on science and not scapegoats. 

Mary has a plan which all fans know about of vaccinating Cows, and vaccinating Badgers where there is lots of TB, to save them from catching it from Cows and suffering.

Anyway, Mary did the best she could for us Badger folk, but she is left believing that Mr Gove will kill another 50,000 badgers this Autumn FOR NO REASON OTHER THAN TO ALLOW THE GOVERNMENT TO SAVE FACE AND PLEASE THE FARMERS.  And my cubs and grandcubs will be cruelly shot, just like my Brian and Byrony were. 

Still, there was a hopeful sign in an announcement on Farming Today on the wireless a couple of days ago about Cow vaccination.  It might be ready in a year.

So Mr Gove and Defra please stop killing innocent Badgers NOW and increase bio-security.  As one of Mary's Signs says BIO-SECURITY NOT BULLETS! and another says VACCINATE NOT EXTERMINATE.

Mary took me to Defra again this week, but on a Friday because some of our Badger and Hupeople friends were having a Die In and Protest.  It rained buckets, but we Badgers like rain.  Mary used a microphone three times and spoke very loudly and got cheered. She is normally very shy, except when it comes to talking about Wildlife. Here are some pictures:  

 

The other Badgers fell asleep because they are not as tough as me, Betty, as I'm an old hand after 2 years going to Defra during daylight hours. We had such a jolly time meeting old friends and making lots of noise for Badgers.  We did all get very very wet and muddy though and when we got home Mary washed all the cubs and put them on the line to dry.  They thought it was a merry go round:

I wonder if you heard about Brian the Badger who hitched a lift all the way from Ware in Hertfordshire to London. I would like to meet him because he sounds an adventurous sort of Badger Chap like me.  However, I would like to let him know that there are easier and safer ways getting to London Town, such as finding a Huwoman to carry you up and down hundreds of steps in a Betty Bag so you don't have to make any effort at all.  Here  is a picture of Brian after he was disentangled from the Metal box on wheels by the RSPCA .  It had a happy ending because he is now back with his family.

Mary now has nine Rescue Chickens as well as an ancient Mother who she has rescued too.  Rescue Mother has come to live with Mary while her bones mend. Mary has bought a Play house for her Chickens to keep them dry and cool.  She lets the Rescue Mother stay in her own house, which I think is probably better than being outside with the Chickens. Here are some of the new chickens:  

The new and old Chickens fight all the time because they have culture called "a pecking order" which means that you peck and pull out each other's feathers until you work out who is top Chicken.  Bottom Chicken gets pecked by everyone. Mary and Rescue Mother haven't quite worked out yet who is top Huwoman in Mary's house.  Life is much less complicated when you are a Badger, apart from everyone trying to kill you 

of course.

PS Michael Gove might lose his job this week.  I think he has tried to do some good things for the planet but Boris Johnson doesn't like him so will probably send him to Northern Ireland, which is a very long way from London Town.  We will miss his cheery Hello

Night Night
Betty 🐾🐾🐾

Betty and the American

Hello Fans.
Hello Mr Gove. Please don't forget your promise to meet with me and Mary within 2 months and we are more than half way through that now.  Yes we Badgers and sensible Hupeople know you are busy but we are all sick and tired of the Conservatory Party egotistical power and preening games which will not help Hupeople or save Badgers' lives in our country.  Mary and I want you to be Prime Minister because if Mr Johnson wins he wants Fox hunting in London.  I don't think I will be safe either outside DEFRA.

Big Americans have featured in London recently. Donald Trump the Big Chief Executive of America (dis)graced our shores and caused a big hullabaloo.  He met The Queen. I do hope he was gentle when he shook her hand.  Those big businessmen apparently like to squash each others paws to show how strong they are. I hope her servants reminded him about her RSI from all that waving.  She probably has osteoporosis too at her age.  I wonder if she is at home in her castle now nursing her broken fingers.  In this picture you can see her keeping her hands well away from Mr Trump:

We spent £25  million pounds making Mr Trump safe which is considerably less than the £40 million the Government has spent on killing 70,000 badgers and is as big a waste of money.

Mr Trump left by the time I got to DEFRA but I did meet my own big American called Ken. who came to find out why I was hanging around Marsham Street.  Ken and I got to talking about disease and I explained that there is no scientific reason to justify the Government killing us Badgers.  He told me how disease often starts in Pigs and Chickens especially in China and India where they are kept in very bad conditions.  I didn't like to mention what Mary told me about the horrific factory farming conditions Animals endure in America but apparently that's OK because they have plenty of bleach and antibiotics solve that.  These pictures are of Chicken and egg farms in America:

A bit different from the lives Mary's chickens lead:

Anyway Ken said that not only are Chickens and Pigs the problem but Americans also have to deal with Creatures called Mexicans which are apparently riddled with disease and are trying to invade America and infect everyone. Ken is very keen for Donald Trump to build his wall to keep the plague out.  I had no idea what a Mexican was, perhaps a bit like a weasel or a rat, but Mary just showed me a picture on the internet oracle and I have to say that they look remarkably like Hupeople.  This is a picture of a Mexican I found 

Last week at Smith Square we met an old bearded Human calling in to see his friend in DEFRA.  He asked me lots of questions about Badgers.  He told me that old story about Badgers being responsible for wiping out Hedge Hogs; regular readers will know that, although we do like the occasional Hedgehog snack, it is farming, roads and housing development is killing off our Hedge Hogs, and they are also killing us Badgers.  He said there were far too many Badgers in the UK; he said 4 million.  Mary checked later and it is less that half a million, so DEFRA has killed 70,000, that is one seventh, of the 490,000 Badgers in the UK.   The Bearded Human said they should have killed more as we have no natural predators.  

OK we don't have Wolves and Bears any more but we do have metal boxes on wheels, who kill 45,000 Badgers on the road every year.  Then we have Farmers and Badger Baiters who kill us and hurt us secretly because they hate us.  A lot of us are dying of hunger and thirst especially as summers are getting so hot. He asked if DEFRA should give us Badgers contraceptives.  I do love my cubs but being dead is worse than not having cubs.

Anyway, on a less sad note I was hanging around the Great Peter Street DEFRA staff entrance musing about Huwomen's clothes.  So many Huwomen stagger around on shoe stilts, or High Heels as they call them, risking the health of their feet and falling over. 

Some of these Huwomen are supposed to be very intelligent and in positions of power but I am not sure I would take them seriously if they are wearing shoe stilts because how can they have their minds on the job when their feet are hurting and they are worried about taking a tumble?  And did you know that some bosses force their Huwomen staff to wear shoe stilts? Apparently it makes them look smart and sexy.  Badgers don't have to wear paw stilts to look sexy- we just exude it.   I tried on some old shoe stilts and think I looked very silly . I suppose it is a bit like what the Chinese used to do to their Huwomen cubs binding their feet in times gone by until the Foot Emancipation Society fought to stop it.  Perhaps we need to revive the organisation so women can wear flat foot coverings if they wish.

Do you know that DEFRA staff are still very nervous about being seen talking to me even though I am now An Institution.  One of my signs fell over yesterday but the staff member was afraid to pick it up in case the CCTV camera saw him. 

Mary and I were delighted to see our old friend, The Man with the Very White Shirt, again this week.  He has a very important job in the Government, but I can't tell you what because I am sworn to Secrecy.   He thinks Mr Gove would make a good Prime Minister.   We  were also made very happy when a young DEFRA man came rushing after us waving his sandwich.  I was happy because I thought I was getting his sandwich.  Mary was happy because he said how wonderful we were to be making a stand for the Animals.   Shame about the sandwich....

Mary hasn't been well the last couple of weeks as first she hurt her back and then she felt sick.  Her friends told her not to go to DEFRA but she did anyway.  She thought about tweeting Mr Gove to ask if his lovely driver could pick her up so she wouldn't have to carry me up and down the 134 steps she has to climb with her Betty Bag every journey.  But she is independent and she knows Mr Gove is very busy just now polishing his image, and his shoes, so he can be the next Prime Minister.   Still I don't think Mary should have gone this week as I could hear her moaning all night from my sett.  She is better now.

Oh, and she is getting six more chickens this weekend who are being released from the egg laying industry.  People such as Mary save them from being slaughtered when they are 18 months old and their egg production goes down. At least if she has that many chickens she won't notice if the odd egg goes missing...

Thank you to Tom and Jane and Kay and the other lovely Hupeople who have left heart warming messages om my blogs .  We love you and thank you.

Betty.🐾🐾🐾

Betty gets Assaulted

Hello Betty Fans, I want to tell you about Hope, Harassment and Heroes.

So much going on that we have been too busy to write anything. We have three whole DEFRA days to tell you about. Mr Gove features in our stories.

Do you remember my Invitation? Well, some lovely Hupeople came to spend the whole day with me.  Oh, they love Badgers and they came from the West Country where DEFRA is Kill-Culling so many of our kin.  They are so sad and do everything they can to save their Badger friends but horrible Humen with flash-bang sticks tempt the Badgers at night with peanuts and then they shoot them.  Some other lovely Badger friends came too from other places bringing big banners. Here are some pictures of my friends who came to support  me:

It was especially sad because is it rained and it rained and it rained.  My fur got so heavy that I could hardly stand up and I could ring water out of my paws. They all stood bravely in the monsoon conditions.  But perhaps it was a good thing because Mr Gove came out and felt so sorry for us that he stopped for a chat under his HUGE National Trust Umbrella.  One of the Huwomen, Hazel or Ali. spoke to him about the Badger Kill-Cull and asked him for an appointment with me as I have been doggedly (Badgerdly) hanging around outside DEFRA for two years.  He said, yes, he was aware of Betty and yes, he will see me within the next two months!  WOW!  Isn't that wonderful?

Mary is so excited about meeting Mr Gove that she has had several dreams about him.  In one of them he wasn't very nice and spoke Political Platitudes.  In the other he was lovely and said he would stop the Badger Kill-Cull.  I don't like to remind Mary that it is me, Betty, that Mr Gove wants to meet and not her   Mary wrote a long letter to Mr Gove confirming our  appointment and giving him my solution to the problem of Cow TB. I hope he has time to read it.  It is My solution .  I wonder if we should bring him a present when we see him; some worms perhaps or some peanuts.

Last week I had another lovely Badger friend called Susanna who stood with me and Mary all day.  She handed out lots of leaflets and we had chats and got to know each other.  Mr Gove smiled at us again.  I hope Susanna comes again but she had to take a day off work to be with us; what a generous person.  She loves animals and doesn't eat them; even worms!  She took some nice pictures of me:

This week at DEFRA was not so good because we had some problems.  A background problem was that it was very hot and me and Mary felt unwell.

At Smith Square a man yelled at us saying that Badgers are "the worst predators in the countryside " and then ran away up the stairs into DEFRA Nobel House.  Mary asked him to come and talk about it but he ignored her and ran away.  He was clearly a coward. I tried to reassure her that he was jealous because Badgers are actually the Best predators in the  countryside- even the foxes get out of our way  

Things got worse when we moved from Smith Square to Great Peter Street.  That was where a Human threatened to shoot me a few weeks ago.  This week a Human shouted at me and hit my face. We were very scared and Mary began to cry because she gets upset when Hupeople are aggressive particularly when they are drunk and irrational. I got drunk once when I ate lots of rotting apples.  I felt very ill afterwards... This is a picture from the internet oracle of an angry drunk Human, but of not our Human in case he gets revenge:

But two lovely heroic Human Badger friends came to our aid and saved us from the nasty angry Human.  They stood by us and calmed the Human down and called the security Hupeople and kept us safe.  We are so  grateful for their kindness.  One of them, who wants to remain anonymous, said he had to protect Betty Badger because she is "an institution".  I thought an institution was where you put sick Hupeople but apparently it also means "a custom or tradition that has existed for a long time and is accepted as an important part of a particular society".

Betty is an Institution of DEFRA.  

But that wasn't all.   When we went round to 2 Marsham Street we noticed a bicycle with a big bag on it attached to a railing .  I have heard all about Bombs so I was very scared and tried to get Mary to take me home.  But the security Human called Bob was very brave and put his life at risk to save us.  When the Human who had left is bike returned  Bob gave him a very firm telling off.

We saw Mr Gove again today but he  is very preoccupied with preparing to be in the race to be the next Prime minister now that the Cupboard (or is is the Cabinet?) has nearly destroyed Mrs May and they want to replace her.  Mr Gove is always very neat, but today I think he had a new suit on and he was beautifully groomed with not a hair out of place.  He didn't speak to me today because he was hurrying off to a meeting.  Mary said that his chance of being the next PM would not be enhanced by being photographed talking to a Badger. Although apparently it is OK to be pictured with a Cow.....  

or a dog.....

On the subject of dogs a very sad thing happened.  Do you remember the homeless Pimlico Dog? We saw him today wandering along Marsham Street.  We ran down the road trying to help him because he looked tired and thirsty.  Then we heard that he was with a "rough looking man" so he had a friend but, sadly, he was so thirsty that he was drinking out of the Home Office Moat that has Chlorine in the water.  Mary will be getting help for the Dog.

Mary wants to tell you that she still has 4 chickens, She has achieved this by spending her life savings on electric fences and cages and by staying awake all night worrying and getting up every time she thinks she hears something.  I think the chickens will be the death of her.  She put her new expensive night camera out and has discovered that foxes wander around her garden all night.  They have their cubs now so have to feed them so she understands why they ate her chicken.   She said she might as well get more chickens now to improve the cost benefit ratio.  I said that I could only see the cost and little benefit to having chickens if she doesn't eat their eggs- or even give them to me.  She says they make her laugh; there hasn't been much evidence of that lately!

When Mary put out her night camera she discovered that I have a new Badger friend.  Here is a picture of us playing together in her garden along with one of the foxes.  His name is Bertie Badger and I think we might mate soon.  I will never forget my old mate Brian but a Badger has needs....

Just as we were leaving to go home today we met a Human who came to talk to us about Badgers and Squirrels.  He had a packet of peanuts in their shells and he was on his way to feed the Squirrels.  One who is called Cyril the Squirrel likes him so much  that he sit on his shoulder to eat nuts.  DEFRA wants to kill Grey Squirrels but he thinks we need lots more in London as there are so many parks and not enough Squirrels to go round.  What a happy loving Human and a positive note to finish on.

Night Night,

Betty 🐾🐾🐾

Waving and drowning and an INVITATION

Hello Betty Fans,
I have a bad paw.  Mary took me to the Vet who said I have RSI ....from waving.  If you have seen me outside DEFRA you will know how I wave at everyone I see and that's a lot of waving every Thursday for the last 2 years.  

RSI means Repetitive Strain Injury and in caused by repetitive movements.  It is also called Occupational Overuse Injury and Overuse Syndrome.   I suppose standing outside DEFRA has become my Occupation... I wonder how many other Creatures have RSI from waving... I can only think of one, The Queen.  

Some people say The Huwoman Queen has an artificial hand that waves for her, but I don't think she does. I might write to her as we have the same Medical Condition in common.  Perhaps she will be my friend and stop the Badger Kill-Cull.

If you have been to London Town or if you listen to The Media you will have heard about Extinction Rebellion.  They describe themselves as:

 a socio-political movement which uses nonviolent resistance to protest against climate breakdown, biodiversity loss, and the risk of human extinction and ecological collapse.

I wonder if they include Badgers in "Biodiversity Loss".  As Badgers are part of Biodiversity. I suppose that means they don't want badgers killed.  I'd better have a chat with them. They have been lying around in the streets and gluing themselves to trains and to each other.  

Well, on Thursday I met one of the Representatives of Extinction Rebellion in Marsham Street and I asked for his advice.  I asked how come he managed to get an interview with Mr Gove for lying around for a week whereas I have been hanging around for 2 years and still Mr Gove won't give me and Mary an appointment.   He told me that I should lie in the road too. He said it's legal to lie in the road for 7 minutes and then I have to get up or I could be arrested. 

He was a kind and helpful Human but I don't think he really understands how life is for Badgers. 50,000 Badgers die on the road in Britain every year when metal boxes on wheels run over them, and that happens when we are scurrying  as fast as we can.  If we lie around in the road for seven minutes then hundreds of thousands of us would die and I don't think it would change Government policy. 

While I was outside DEFRA on Thursday minding my own Badger Business and giving myself RSI, a crazy Human kept calling to me.  Then he started yelling, "I'm going to shoot that Badger"  I was very worried . They took him away in an ambulance eventually; maybe he had mental health problems like so many Hupeople who want to kill Badgers.  I might have to call on the lovely Police Humen that protected me in Man Chester at the Conservatory Party Conference:

Mary has had an email from some Hupeople in Somerset and they want to come and visit me next Thursday.  They are even hiring a coach and coming all that way to London Town.  I do hope it doesn't rain on them and we can have a picnic; I hope they bring worms and peanuts for me.   Other fans like you can come too.  I start at DEFRA Smith Square (17 St John Smith's Square)  at 11.30 then move on to DEFRA staff entrance of Seacole Buiding Great Peter Street at 12.30 and then go on to Marsham Street at 1.30.  This is our regular routine.   

We didn't see Mr Gove this week, but it was local election day and he was probably sitting in a darkened room with the other Politicians chewing their finger nails. We did meet him last week when he was popping out for his lunch and he said Hello.  I have decided that it is time me and Mary had a meeting with him.  We only want a fifteen minutes.  It is difficult to see him because his Minders protect him from ordinary Creatures like me and Mary.  I bet if Mary was a Millionaire she would get to see him.  I suppose we are not important enough and we are not causing enough trouble, but I think we deserve a few minutes with Mr Gove because of 2 years of Thursdays, three visits to the Conservatory Party Conferences and Mary's back and my RSI and the 70,000 dead Badgers we want to speak up for.

If you are a literary Huperson you might have noticed the poetical reference in the title of my blog.  It comes from a poem by Stevie Smith.  Here it is for the less literary:

Nobody heard him, the dead man,
But still he lay moaning:
I was much further out than you thought
And not waving but drowning.

Poor chap, he always loved larking
And now he's dead
It must have been too cold for him his heart gave way,
They said.

Oh, no no no, it was too cold always
(Still the dead one lay moaning)
I was much too far out all my life
And not waving but drowning.

Mary says that's how she feels sometimes outside DEFRA when she thinks that no one is watching or listening.  I tell her that she has lots of friends at DEFRA and in the Badger Groups and they will not let her and me drown under the tidal wave of our sadness if the Badger kill-cull continues for much longer., 

When I started writing this Blog last night this next paragraph started "Mary still has five chickens which is pretty miraculous considering how the Foxes visit her garden".   Tragically just after dawn this morning the Fox ate Ginger.  Mary is terribly sad and says she won't leave the garden so she can look after them.  

I think it is still a good thing that she has them, even though she is sad at the moment,  because they make her laugh and they follow her around like adoring fans.  Of course they do because she feeds them!  They are getting more adventurous and wandering into the countryside.  They also prevent her growing food in her garden by taking dust baths in her seed beds.  They do enjoy that.  Mary has decided to grow her vegetables in pots where the chickens can't get at them.  Here is a picture of them having a bath:

Chickens are surprisingly clever and when Mary leaves the kitchen door open they dash straight in and eat the cat food.  It is their favourite food in the world.  Because of this Mary's other cat Lola hates the Chickens and has sabotaged the chickens by going to the toilet in their dust bath.  They really won't like that!  Lola is jealous of the chickens so is punishing Mary by destroying the vegetables she is now growing in pots.  No home grown vegetables for Mary this year!

I had better stop now and try to cheer Mary up over the loss of Ginger.  Mary is sad but philosophical about her loss because she understands that Foxes have their Cubs this time of year and have to feed them.  Still, Mary has just ordered an electric fence...

See you on Thursday!

Night Night,

Betty  🐾🐾🐾