Betty gets into Trouble

Sorry I have been quiet for a while but your friendly Betty and her Huwoman friend Mary have been quite depressed about the lack of publicity about the Badger Killing planned for this year.  Still, we have carried on visiting DEFRA on the last 2 Thursdays and we have had some fun.  Last Thursday was exciting because we met a Human with a Badger in a bag, we got into trouble and a nice Human offered to adopt one of my Cubs. 

As you can see we brought the Cubs and a few of their friends:

We have been making full use of Mary's stool and there has been some fighting over it to keep our paws off the cold wet ground.  I enjoyed some climbing up DEFRA's walls

Mary put up her new sign we made the morning before we left, but it wasn't a very good sign because Badgers are not very good at spelling and I have to admit that I forgot how to spell Badger.....  so we had to cover that bit up. When we hung our sign up, Mary realised that I also didn't know how to spell Innocent either so she made a quick repair with her writing stick.  Mary hung our sign on the DEFRA sign but hen we got into dreadful trouble. 

The security men shouted at me and Mary and told us that we had to move it as someone complained.  I think I know who it was: a Huwoman with tidy black hair who had a mouth that looked as if she had been eating lemons.  She definitely doesn't like Badgers and she scowled at me when I waved at her.

Another man asked if we had heard the news that morning because Badgers are now being blamed for undermining the roads. Mary said, "Badgers were there first!". DEFRA is very clever at making Badgers seem evil creatures determined to undermine the fabric of British society.  I wish we had someone as good at publicity on our side.  

Mr Gove was very busy coming and going this week and he had lots of friends with him.  He went and bought his own lunch in a bag from Itsu.  They sell Seaweed and Fish and Noodles. 

As you might have noticed, Noodles are very like worms..... so Badgers would probably like them.

He stopped and said "Hello" three times.  Mary was in a bad mood and I had to keep her temper under control reminding her that if she did something naughty like spit at Mr Gove then she might go to prison.  She told me that she was thinking of cursing Mr Gove- she is a bit of a witch you see, but witches don't like to do harm, even to Badger Killers like Mr Gove.  I do wonder how he sleeps at night with all that blood on his hands and on his conscience. Perhaps, though, he is just stupid and it is the people in DEFRA who are feeding him lies about Badgers and he is not able to think for himself. 

I did hear one article on the radio this week about the last white Rhino somewhere dying.

Of course, that is very sad, especially when they are being killed because stupid Chinese doctors say that their patients must have rhino horns to give them erect penises.  As many of you may recall, male Badgers do have bones in that part of their anatomy so they don't have trouble in that department.  I suppose that we should count our blessings that Badgers aren't bigger Animals with bigger appendages or that would be yet another spurious reason for killing us.  (Mary said the word Spurious and although I don't  know what it means, I think it makes me sound clever..)  On hearing that news about the Rhino Mary emailed the PM show on Radio 4 and said why are they worried about a white Rhino when our own Conservatory Party was wiping out tens of thousands of our British Badgers. How soon will it be before we will be mourning the last Badger in England?

But two lovely things happened.  A Human came up to me and said, "I'm on your side" and asked me to look in his briefcase.  You'll never guess what I saw in there- A BADGER!   I think DEFRA will now instigate a bag search to see who is on Betty's side and is secretly keeping a Badger safe in their bags..    Remember when I went to Man Chester and hid in a bag?  That seems such a long time ago... when I was full of hope....

Another Human approached me and said that he would like to adopt one of my cubs.  he went off to get his lunch but never came back- I wonder if the security cameras heard what he said and culled him?

Mr Gove and all the other politicians have started their holidays now so Mary is thinking of not going to DEFRA tomorrow but instead going to Downing Street to meet the Tourists.  The Tourists love taking pictures of me and sending them all around the world.  Mary says that this will embarrass the Government so is worth doing even though there are some dodgy people who hang around there, but I reminded Mary that there are also lots of Police Officers too and they always look after me especially since I helped them keep an eye on a Dodgy Character. 

Oh! and another lovely thing.  Spring is coming and we saw flowers and birds and sun and warmth and that makes us all feel happier.  It also means that the Cubs can come outside to play in the warm evening and begin to feed themselves.  

Night night everyone.  Happy days!

Betty 🐾🐾