Betty's Reshuffle Blues

Hello Betty Fans.
Today I made Mary take me to 10 Downing Street because Boris was having a reshuffle and I wanted to be at the centre of the action. 

I don't know why but all the camera Hupeople and journalists were not very happy to see me. I have to admit that I was standing right in front of the gate where the ministers were arriving and leaving. I thought I added to the excitement, but they seemed to want me out of camera shot. Still the public liked me and I had my picture taken lots of times. Your Betty was quite a hit.  Here are some of the camera crowd ignoring me:

We heard that the Chancellor of the Exchequer Sajid Javid resigned, which is quite sad because he spoke to us once outside Marsham Street and showed real interest.  Here he is:

We saw the new Chancellor  called  Rishi Sunak He doesn't look old enough to vote let alone look after the finance of the country Here is his picture.  We wish him well.  

Then we heard the dreadful news and I wanted to weep. The awful George Eustice has been promoted to Secretary of State for the Environment.  That is the worst nightmare of me and other Badgers.  We will not sleep well in our setts again. Eustice hates Badgers and he wants us all dead.  He doesn't care about the suffering of farm animals or wildlife. He doesn't care about the environment and he doesn't believe in the Human cause of Climate Change. Mary says he is in the pocket of the NFU.  I wonder if he might be having an affair with the head of the Farmers Union Minette Batters.  That would explain his irrational behaviour.  She looks as if she might enjoy a bit of slap and tickle.  Here they are together with some other Human:

 I have seen him answering questions about Badgers in Parly Ment and he uses Weasel words to avoid the truth. We keep asking why he hasn't commented on Professor Godfray's report of a year ago but he wriggles out of it like a snake. I fear there is no hope for Badgers. And he has the nerve to smile at us when he goes for lunch at Defra This is his picture:

We had a dreadful drama in the garden this week when a Lurcher Dog called Tulip caught one of Mary's Chickens and ran away across the fields with poor Neptune in her mouth,  Mary was so angry and sad and let out a scream that was so loud that her terrified Cats, Lola and Rufus, grew instantly to double their normal size and ran and hid under the bed.    They are normally on top of the bed....

Tulip belongs to Mary's neighbour Tim who is an irresponsible Dog keeper.  Mary once wrote an article in her local Paper called "The Divine Right of Dog Owners" all about how Dog Keepers think they can let their Fido go where they want and chase Cats and kill wild life such as Deer, Pheasants and Hares.  

Amazingly, there was a happy ending to the story as Neptune was found later cowering in a wood, with feathers missing and utterly traumatised.  Mary let her spend the night with her but was sure Neptune would die of shock.  But she didn't die because she is a tough little chicken. She is starting to get stronger every day. Here is a picture of her in a knitted coat to keep her warm until her feathers grow:

  Because we went to West Minster tube today Mary found a Greggs and had one of their Vegan Sausage Rolls.  That cheered us up. 

I am going to finish now because I have the Reshuffle Blues.  Mary is giving me and the family extra nuts to cheer us up tonight.  When I next write I will tell you all about my new Grandcubs.  We are busy in the sett looking after them.  They are too young to go outside yet but hey are certainly making their presence felt.  They are a reminder that even in the darkest times, new life gives us hope whether we are Badgers or Hupeople.

Here is a picture of some cubs to lift our hearts:

Night Night,

Betty 🐾🐾🐾

Betty is Snared

Hello Betty Fans,
I thought you might have been worried about me so a quick Blog to let you know about your favourite Badger. Oh, have I had a difficult time, but things are getting better. For the first time in living memory I missed 2 weeks at Defra. Why? Because I got caught in a snare and had a very bad paw.  This is a snare:

When a Creature gets caught in a snare it tightens around them and is supposed to hold the Animal quietly until the game keeper comes along to kill it. In reality the Creature struggles desperately to escape and can get strangled or badly injured. Sometimes the game keeper doesn't come back at all and the poor Animal suffers and starves and then dies. 

And, of course, if you live in the countryside your Cat or Dog can get caught in a snare- they often do:

Luckily I didn't die because one of the cubs found me and went to get Mary and she used some sharp scissors she called snips to get me out.  If it wasn't for Mary I might have died like this poor Badger:

Snares are often set up on shooting estates to kill any Animals that might reduce the profitability of shooting Pheasants and Partridges.  After a shoot the bodies of the birds shot are sometimes put into "stink pits".  I really don't understand why if they kill a bird they don't eat it; it is such a waste.  The smell of all this flesh attracts all sorts of meat eating Creatures such as Foxes and Buzzards and Crows..... and Badgers.  And so we get snared and die too.  

Mary land I live near a shooting estate  so we are always at risk of getting caught.  Luckily it was only my paw, and Mary put antiseptic on it so I won't die of infection.  Still I now walk with a wobble and I am having trouble digging holes  but my cubs are helping me out. 

Another visitor to Mary's garden is Fox.  He was a cub last year.  Sadly he got caught in a snare too.  Here is a video of him taken last night:

As you can see he has lost one of his legs at the front.  He probably had to chew it off.  It is a miracle that he didn't die.  Mary feeds him because he has trouble chasing Rabbits.  Unfortunately Mary's food has attracted Rats who eat the Fox food.  They aren't scared of the Fox because they know he can't run as fast as them  Here is a video showing them last night stealing his food:

It all happens in Mary's garden at night.  There might even be a Puma... so Mary doesn't wander around in the dark as much as she used to... . This is a Puma

We have been back at Defra for the last three weeks but my paw has been too sore for typing.  It has been good to be back after the Festive break to see all our friends again.  On my first day back a lovely Huwoman gave me  a free chocolate pudding called a Coconut Collaborative.  It was almost as nice as Peanut butter and Marmite sandwiches.    

Another Huwoman came up to me and said "Thank you, Thank you ,Thank you for everything you are doing."  It quite made me blush.  Last week a Human came up to me and said the same sort of thing and shook my by my sore paw- i didn't complain though because he was being kind. 

I was so glad to see my Angel, the lovely Human who always arrives to look after me when I am in trouble.  And I wasn't even in trouble.  We had a nice chat about how sensitive Creatures sometimes find life hard, but we are glad that we are sensitive because it makes us more compassionate.  I am even compassionate to Mary's Chickens.  The one called Mars died last week and Mary's eyes leaked a lot, so much so that she nearly had 2 accidents while driving home from the vet. I avoid going into the metal box on wheels with Mary. 

There is going to be a reshuffle in by Boris very soon.  He is in a bit of trouble because the National Farmers Union say he is being influenced by his girlfriend Carrie.  They say she persuaded him to stop the killing of Badgers in Derbyshire .  Actually it was silly to kill Badgers in Derbyshire because they had just begun an Badger vaccination programme there. 

Anyway, Badgers and their friends are hoping that Zac Goldsmith becomes the Defra Secretary of State because he doesn't believe in the Badger Kill-Cull.  I am not too hopeful though because I think some Civil Servants and the NFU will try to assassinate him if he tries to stop the policy of killing us lovely Badgers.  This is Zac Goldsmith:

It is very strange how government is over five weeks later than usual in announcing how many Badgers they killed in the Autumn.  They have always announced the figures before Xmas. But not this year.  Someone has made a Freedom of Information request to make them tell us the truth.  

Mary's mother called Nora has gone into a place where they look after very old Hupeople who have forgotten who they are.  She is happy there.  Mary has been very, very tired and sad in recent months because of her old mother and it has been hard for her to go to Defra every week. A positive aspect of Nora's move into a happy place is that Mary will now have more time and energy to look after me and my Badger friends.  I am sure that everyone at Defra will be pleased to hear that.

We are thinking of moving our vigil back to 10 Downing Street, at the front where the public and tourists hang around and take pictures, but also at the back where a lot of important Hupeople come and go.  So you may not see as much of me and Mary as you used to.  Downing Street is where I started my vigil two and a half years ago and we made lots of police friends there. 

We saw Tony Juniper at Defra again this week.  He had no words of support or hope to offer. Mr Juniper has bee a huge disappointment to Badgers and our Hupeople friends.

My poor paw is getting sore now so I will stop.  I have a feeling in my old Badger bones that there will be some positive movement on the matter of the Badger Kill-Cull in the weeks ahead. If not, watch out because Mary is getting herself energised to go into battle.

Night Night,

Betty

🐾🐾

Betty Badger's Festive Message to the Nation

Like the Queen, it has been a bumpy year for me, Betty Badger.  There have been high points and low points. 

Cubs are always a worry and The Queen has had a few problems with hers.  Bickering and naughtiness are inevitable in the young ones but we still love them.  The Queen is luckier than me though because Defra isn't determined to shoot her cubs.  I lost my cub Bryony  last year when she was shot in the Kill-Cull.



Also like the Queen, I have RSI from all the waving I do, although I only wave on Thursdays  outside Defra. The poor Queen can be called on to wave any day of the week!

Some of this year's  high points relate to my weekly vigil at Defra. Kind-hearted Hupeople have brought me food and drink such as iced soya lattes, peanut butter and Marmite sandwiches, apples and cups of tea.  I have made friends who have protected me from being hurt by nasty Hupeople who attacked me and my Huwoman Mary. 

Oh and we missed being stabbed by 5 minutes by a crazy Human with a Ferret and a knife in Marsham Street.  We were very lucky.

A major high point was being invited to meet Michael Gove who listened carefully to Mary.  He seemed to be intent on helping us and then he lost his job because of a General Election.  

Theresa Villiers took over.  She has never been seen at Defra and we believe she is actually locked in a cupboard in case she says something that undermines Conservatory Party policies.  Either that or she is a CGI creation and doesn't really exist at all.

We had a few jolly protests outside Defra:

but it wasn't very nice when the Police threatened to arrest me and Mary.  They were worried because Extinction Rebellion were sitting down in the road and drinking tea and  sticking themselves to trains and windows and walls and street furniture so they were angry with anyone who was protesting.

They called me "A MAGNET FOR TROUBLE" .  The lovely Defra staff and security men said I was in fact "A DEFRA INSTITUTION"!  

Another high point was having a party outside Defra in Marsham Street and eating cake in the shape of the world with Bertie.  Bertie and I have had lots of slap and tickle together which led me to carry little cubs inside my belly. 

Oh and me and Mary became media super stars appearing on Radio 4 Woman's Hour and iPM.  Today we had a big article with a picture of me in the local news paper. We are hoping to get on to the Today programme too. 

We were so excited to meet Jenni Murray

Although me and Mary have been insulted and hit and shouted at, all that is as nothing compared with the dreadful Kill-Cull.  We Badgers and Badger-Loving Hupeople all wanted Labour to win the General Election because they promised they would stop killing us. 

The Conservatory Government has now killed around 130,000 Badger Folk, around 64,000 this year, although they haven't released  the figures yet, which is odd because they always do before the Xmas recess. They probably thought it would stop kind Hupeople voting for them. They will probably carry on killing us for five more years and that breaks all our hearts.  And there is no scientific reason for doing that.

Do  you remember my blog with the sad picture of Dead Badgers bagged and binned and ready  for burning.  I said in then I bet Defra doesn't test those Badgers before they burn their little bodies because they don't want the public to know how few Badgers have Cow TB.  Well, Mary wrote to Defra to ask that question and, after six weeks, they confirmed that they do NOT test the Badgers before burning them (except in Cumbria) so there is no evidence that we are spreading TB. 

Anyway, Boris Johnson is responsible for making me and Mary stand outside Defra on Thursdays for another five years.  She will be very, very old by then and will definitely be wearing Tena Lady Pants extra absorbent.  I will probably be dead.  But we are not giving up. 

Other good news this year was the Professor Godfray report in which he said that vaccinating Badgers would be cheaper and more effective than killing us. And the RSPCA said that killing Badgers was just a distraction from dealing with the real causes of TB including Biosecurity. Did Defra take any notice of these Experts? Of course not, because the NFU hates Badgers and has Defra in it's pockets. 

And then there are Mary's 15 chickens.  Is that good news or bad?  Her lovely garden is now very muddy and smelly but, when Mary is not looking, I nip in and steal an egg or two or three....  She wonders why they only lay a few eggs a day. Please don't tell her I am enjoying some nice eggs for my breakfast every night.  At least I am not eating the Chickens which it is in my nature to do.  I am showing immense restraint for a Badger, but Mary is my friend and companion now and she has enough stress without me making her sadder.  

Anyway, I think I am a little sad myself having made the decision not to let my cubs come to fruition.  I told you that we Badgers can hold on to our embryos for a year or two so they will be born in better times.  It doesn't look as if better times are coming very quickly for us Badgers, so I have reabsorbed my four little cubs because the world is just too cruel a place for me to bring vulnerable Badger cubs into a life of fear and danger.

Sorry that's not very festive but is is the reality for Badgers and Foxes and Crows and Buzzards and Bees and all the other Creatures Hupeople choose to kill or hurt.  You do so much damage with your hunting and your chemicals and your farming and your cars and your overpopulating and so many species are dying out.  

Anyway,  the  old year has ended and I recall with affection our trip to the Conservatory Party Conference in Man Chester where we met lots of kind Hupeople, even Conservatories who don't agree with the Kill-Cull.   We were left with a little hope.  But more importantly, I was the first Badger ever to travel First Class on a Virgin Train and drink Gin and Tonic which made me sneeze and snooze.  I would like to try that again. 

Mary and I are having a week off from Defra this week as it will be the day after your Xmas and we both need a break.  I will stay in my sett with my family and Mary will stay in her garden with her chickens.  We will both be eating peanut butter and Marmite sandwiches.  Heaven!

Happy New Year from Betty (and Mary and the Chickens and the Cats).  May your sett be warm and your earth be full of worms. 
🐾🐾🐾🐾  XX 🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐱🐱

Betty Badger muses on Peanuts

Hello Fans. 

Today at Defra we had a wonderful surprise when a Human called John presented us with our favourite food- a Peanut Butter and Marmite sandwich. And it was on nice seedy bread.  He did say he was going to put worms in it as well but because of the frost he wasn't able to dig any up.  Mary was relieved. 

Although the sandwich looked delicious we were both a bit anxious about eating it. There is a Human saying,"Beware of Greeks bearing gifts" which means don't trust Hupeople who bring you presents; they could well be playing a trick on you.

We Badgers love peanuts even more than worms:  Here is a picture from The Ecologist to prove it:

You might recall that Badgers are killed in the kill-cull by putting peanuts in traps and then because we can't resist them we get trapped and shot.  John might work under cover for George Eustice and poisoned the sandwich to stop me and Mary getting on his nerves and embarrassing him. And it might have had Cow breast milk butter in it and Cows are the source of so much trouble for Badgers.  As John doesn't appear to be Greek, we decided to risk eating it. And it was delicious. I am here to tell the tale without a stomach ache.   



In fact peanut butter and Marmite is such a wonderful combination that Marmite has brought out a product ready made for us.  More about peanuts later.



We are most grateful to John and other Hupeople who give us nice things to eat.  We don't drink much though because Mary doesn't want me urinating around Westminster.  Actually, I think she is more worried about her own continence since Tena didn't agree to sponsor us. I think we might have done their product some good.  Perhaps Marmite will sponsor us instead...

Today we met Tony Juniper, The head of Natural England again.  We saw him a couple of weeks ago too and Mary was angry because he wouldn't stop and talk to her. He gave us a nice smile today and Mary must have been a a good mood because she said perhaps he is quietly working for Badgers from the inside of Defra.  I think Mary is too trusting or possibly deluded. 

We also met an angry human who wanted to shoot me.  He held me responsible for a Badger killing his friend's Geese.  He should have looked after his Geese better. Foxes and Badgers cannot resist the smell of poultry...especially Chickens, although I am restraining myself with Mary's Chickens.  She is getting 6 more next week so she will have 14.  She probably wouldn't miss the odd one then as 14 is a large number for her to count. Here's Orlando the chicken: 

Mary has just spent over £300 on making Orlando better because her innards are worn out from laying eggs.  I think Mary is mad because she doesn't even eat eggs!  She will have to sell another kidney...  We just looked on the internet Oracle and she could get £75,000 for her kidney.   That would buy a lot of peanuts.

I gave one of my cubs, Bessie, away to a homeless man today.  He asked for one and promised to treasure it so we said goodbye. We meet a lot of homeless people in West Minster.  There is now a Huwoman in Pimlico station. Here is her picture:

She has a lot of things for a Homeless Huperson. She needs a shopping trolley to carry it all.  I wonder what happened to the homeless dog? I hope it didn't die from drinking the chlorine in the moat around 2 Marsham Street.  All the homeless dogs used to drink from there. 

Mary has been talking the Homeless Humen about the Election.  They all want to vote for Labour but haven't registered as voters..Mary told them that if they care for Badgers and homeless Hupeople then they need to register to vote.  As they don't have addresses they might not be able to but Mary asked them to try to get register at a hostel.  I hope my cub Bessie will be reminding them.  Bessie Badger is now among the Street Homeless but I'm sure she will soon dig a nice warm sett somewhere. Mr Johnson has just announced that he  if he wins the election he will kill 50,000 more badgers next year.  I might get Mary to register me and her other Badger friends to vote so Mr Johnson doesn't win.

We were very cold at Defra these last two weeks and I saw Mary eyeing my fur enviously. You Hupeople really are naked Apes.  Clearly Badgers are further up the evolutionary ladder because we don't need to wear silly clothes and then publish loads of magazines about fashion.  Mary has just bought a new hat to keep her head warm, but it hasn't got a dead animal bobble on top like these ones:

I will be wearing my Santa hat again soon to celebrate your festive season and make Defra staff feel guilty....  Here's a picture of me in my hat last year when the number of dead badgers had just been announced for the 2018 kill-cull. Mary covered me in blood to make a point. I imagine that Mr Johnson will hold back this year's figures until after the Election. 

Back to peanuts.  I'm very glad that Mary likes peanuts almost as much as I do. We have a lot in common. She eats them several times a day and her dentist told her she has molars like a ruminant from chewing them all the time; they will wear away soon. She says she not worried because she can have artificial teeth put in.  They drill holes in your mouth bones and screw in bits of metal!!!    Whatever next?

Did you know that peanuts grow under the ground?   Here is the evidence:

They can be grown in this country but, sadly, farmers don't want grow them here,  The internet Oracle says you can buy plants so I will ask Mary to buy some.  We can both sit in the garden eating them together.  If peanuts did grow in this country I think I would stay underground and eat my way around the fields.  I would be a very happy Betty Badger, Still, that would give farmers another reason to shoot Badgers.

I don't know if I mentioned that Mary is a Vegan.  I'm not because I eat worms....and chickens... Mary has become trendy for the first time in her life because so many Hupeople  want to become Vegan to save the planet. Also, because she has been Vegan for 25 years she is something of a media personality as she appears on the radio and tells everyone her bones haven't crumbled   Hupeople who are carnivores think vegans live on Avocados and Coconut oil and something called Keen wa and then they blame them for importing food from the other side of the world and making the planet hot with their planes but, as far as I can see, Mary lives on potatoes and baked beans and apples, which grow around here.  Mary became Vegan for the animals and not the planet but I suppose we are all connected.  Here's a picture Mary got from the Book of Faces:

I think I may be with Cubs.  I can feel the spark of new Badger life glowing inside my belly.  Those of you who have been reading me for a couple of years will know that pregnant Badgers can hold on to their embryos for more than a year before they allow them to grow.  We won't let them grow if we think there is danger around.  I will wait until the election to see if the Conservatories win.  If they do then I will probably not let the Badger seeds come into life at all.  I don't want to bring them into a world where there are so many cruel Humen with flash-bang sticks trying to kill them.

I have to stop now because it is nice damp night and there are a lot of worms up on the surface to eat; we will have a bit of a party tonight. 

I will leave you with a picture of my cubs at Defra.  I hope we bump into Bessie next Thursday when we go back.  We might even meet the cub we gave to Mr Gove.... but that's another story.

Night night,

Betty Badgers🐾🐾

Life and Death in Badger World.... And the General Election

Hello Betty Fans. 
Today we met  Sue Hayman outside Defra Nobel House. She is a Huwoman MP, but more importantly, she is the Shadow Secretary of State for the Environment, Food and Rural Affairs.  That means she keeps an eye on Theresa Villiers and George Eustice;  more of him later.... Anyway Sue Hayman likes Badgers and she wants the Kill-Cull to stop.  She had her picture taken with me so she will be famous now,,,  I told her that Defra had killed 130,000 Badgers and said I would help her in any way I could to stop the killing.  Here is a picture of her so you can see what she looks like:

The Hupeople are having a General Election soon. That means you vote and decide who runs the country and makes the rules.   Mary says that you have a democracy but that is not the same as a referendum.  In a referendum the result can be ignored, like the vote for Brexit, whereas in a democracy in the UK even if one party doesn't get most of the votes they can still run the country.  I find it very confusing.   Life is much simpler for Badgers, except we are hated and get shot. 

Sue Hayman is a Labour MP. Mary says that if we want to stop the Badger Kill-Cull then we have to vote Labour .  Mary is normally a floating voter but she is very clear who has to win to save the lives of Badgers, Foxes and other wildlife the Conservatories enjoy killing. 

I have more good news.  I have decided to have some more Cubs and Bertie Badger has been helping me.  I know I am quite old to be a mother again but we Badgers have to do something to replace the 130,000 Badgers the Conservatory Government has killed.  And a Badger has needs....So I am having a bit of a fling with Bertie and were are both enjoying the slap and tickle.  You might remember Bertie from the pictures of us having an intimate meal outside outside Defra in Marsham Street.  We were eating the world cake together left on the table by Extinction Rebellion when they were protesting.  Here we are whispering sweet nothings and eating cake.

I have even more good news. In some areas the Badger Kill-cull has come to an end for this year and Badger families in those areas can breathe a sigh of relief and  quietly mourn their lost loved ones.   However in three areas in Somerset, Gloucestershire and North Dorset the killing continues and will continue until 64,400 badgers die this Autumn. It breaks my heart.  Even worse, Mary showed me a picture of some Badgers after they had been shot.  They were bagged, binned an burned.  Mary's eyes leaked again when she saw this very sad picture of my friends in bags:

Mary has asked Defra if those Badgers were tested for Bovine TB before they were burned.  We are waiting for their reply.  I think they burned the bodies quickly to prevent testing because so few of them will have had TB.  Last time they tested Badger bodies in a High Risk area, fewer than 3% of Badgers had TB which they probably caught from Cow slurry and there is no evidence that Badgers spread TB to Cows.  

Last Thursday we all got very very wet.  Bob the security man told us to go home or we would catch our Death... but we didn't go home and I don't know if we caught Death because I don't know what Death looks other than bullet holes and I don't think rain gives you those.  Mary squeezed the Cubs out as if they were wet washing.  We were all so heavy with rain that Mary could hardly carry us up the 80 steps at Finsbury Park and the other 85 steps at her home station.  We thought she would have a heart attack.  Her red Betty Bag leaked all over the train- it was like a river running down the carriage. When we got in Mary had hot shower and we all went in the washing machine and dried out on the radiators (again!) .  We are all lovely and clean now and smell of Lavender.  One of our fans at Defra today said how sparkling clean we looked.  

In the many years me and Mary have been fighting the Badger Kill-Cull we have never brought politics into the issue.  This shouldn't be a matter of politics but a matter of science and compassion.  We have always been courteous in our dealings with politicians and visited the Conservatory Party Conference 4 times where we have  been polite and friendly.  But having seen George Eustice in action in Parliamentary debates, distorting statistics and bringing in back benchers to win votes, completely ignoring the facts given by other political parties we think it is time to take sides with the politicians who might stop the killing.  So here I am with a new sign.

Mary and I are on the third year of our Defra vigil together.  She really needs a new Betty Bag, which will be our third.   We always buy the same one because it is very light so she can carry me and lots of cubs.  But Mary is refusing to buy a third bag even though it is full of holes because it might suggest that she believes the Kill-Cull will go ahead next year and she will need to come to Defra with me for yet another year.  That feels like defeatism.  Here is me in the Betty Bag in better days..

The nights are beginning to get cold now so we cleared out our setts and filled them with new dry grass to keep us snug thought the winter.  When Mary wasn't looking I stole some of the Chickens' straw as it was lovely and dry. I have put extra layers to keep my home even more cosy than ever in case we have the patter of tiny paws in a few months. On which subject, I had better get back to Bertie. We have work to do.... 

Night Night!

Betty ⇹⇩🐾🐾🐾🐾