Betty Badger Abandons her Bag

Hello Betty Fans. Your favourite Badger here.
Today I start my Blog with a gorgeous picture of a young Badger.  The picture is called Badger Blues and it is by Dave Hudson.  He won acclaim by getting Highly Commended in an international picture competition called Nature TTL Photographer of the Year.  He is  a very clever Human and if Badgers had weddings I would ask him to be my photographer.  But we don't have weddings,; we have a bit of slap and tickle at every opportunity without any formalities. Here is his gorgeous picture :

I wonder if Mr Hudson knows that we Badgers like eating Blue Bells, particularity the flowers, as they are sweet with nectar and perfume.  We have to keep quiet about that because Blue Bells are protected and if Defra finds that out it will give them another reason to kill us. Defra will probably blame us for the spread of Corvid 19 too but the clue is in the name; it's the crows! That's a Badger joke.. 

The Government has stopped Hupeople from leaving their setts and going to work and shopping and eating. This means that, for the first time in two and a half years, half of my life, we are not going to Defra every week.  I do miss my friends in Defra and in St John's Church in Smith Square who were always kind when Mary needed to deal with her ageing bladder.  Still, there are some advantages to being old as the nice staff in Waitrose let her into the shop before the younger Hupeople to buy grapes and bananas for me and the chickens. 

We have decided to throw away Betty bag number 2 as it was full of holes and there was a danger of a cub falling out.  We had hoped to throw it away when the Kill-Cull ended but it looks as if that's not going to happen for a long time.  Here is my old Bag with the rubbish.

It feels sad to be saying goodbye to the Betty Bag as it has traveled to the four quarters of the world with me in it. We have been to London and Birmingham and all the way to Man Chester which is must be at the end of the world.  Here I am on my travels with my Betty Bag when we were both younger:

Mary seems to be enjoying the isolation from the world and I think is lowering her standards.  I'm sure she isn't having as many showers as she now smells more like a Huwoman rather than of soap and shampoo. I noticed Rufus the cat sniffing her armpits the other day when she was lying on the grass staring at the sky; she seems to do a lot of that... The cats were also very disturbed when she spent an hour dancing in the garden. Mary said she was keeping fit but it was probably some sort of mating dance. All of nature is busy courting and mating at the moment. 

The Rat family have just had pups and they seem to be taking over Mary's garden so she has moved my Badger Feeding Station into the field behind.  It has had lots of visitors and here are some pictures and videos of my night time friends:

Here is the Three Legged fox who is still with us after three months, but might disappear when the new shoot owner starts killing wildlife. 

Here are Fallow Family:

And Muntjacs who spend their lives eating and mating:

And finally our tame pheasant. You might need ear plugs for the last bit..

Next time I will show you some of our other Friends

Mary is starting to worry about me and my Friends because a new Game Keeper is taking over the local shoot.  This Human has a reputation of hating wildlife and where he worked before all the Badgers and Crows and Foxes and Buzzards and Kites disappeared because he used snares and possibly strychnine, which is illegal.   Mary will be keeping a very close eye on things and report him to the Wildlife Police if there are any shenanigans. These are the local Wildlife Police.  You don't want to get on the wrong side of them:

Thursday is still Betty Day so me and Mary spent last Thursday reading all the documents about the Defra report saying that the Badger Kill-Cull would be phased out.  Mary said this is all poppycock and Weasel words. The announcement was just a public relations stunt by Defra who still have every intention of killing Badgers for many years and they may increase the killing into 18 new areas where they have never killed us before. We are very upset. Here is a picture of me in case you forget what I look like:

And they still haven't announced how many Badgers they killed last Autumn. The Virus is an excuse for hiding bad news and bad policy but me and Mary are not going anywhere and will make sure that we Badgers get in the spotlight.

We Badgers are so relieved that Mr Johnson told Hupeople to stay at home this week and only go out once a day near home.  Last week when everyone was told to work from home the countryside was busier than Marsham Street in London.  There were Hupeople everywhere, wandering in the woods, and letting their Dogs go where they wanted.  Mary says that there is something called "The Divine Right of Dog Owners".  This allows Dogs and their owners to go wherever they want to, damaging crops, trampling wild flowers, disturbing and eating the Eggs of ground nesting birds such as Skylarks and Pheasants.  They also chase Deer and Sheep and harm our Cubs.  Mary likes Dogs but thinks some Dog owners lose their brains when they get Dogs. Probably because they catch Dog Worms. Not all Dog owners are irresponsible and Mary knows some nice thoughtful ones but also knows Dogs that have been allowed to kill wild Deer and their babies and Hares and Pheasant... and Chickens. 

On the subject of Chickens, this Virus crisis has transformed Mary from The Mad Chicken Woman to Valuable Member of the Community.  This is because she has Eggs and Eggs are in short supply.  Everyone is nice to her now.  Someone even offered to give her a can of beans in exchange. Here is a picture of the Chickens' Eggs.  There should be six but Mary make the mistake of letting me help her collect them and a couple fell into my  mouth.  They are delicious.

They are all different sizes and colours because the chickens are different sizes and colours.  Here is a video of some of the Chickens yesterday enjoying the sun.

That's the sort of strange undignified behaviour we have come to expect of Chickens. And this is a picture of Comet the Chicken who had a hard life laying eggs commercially and even though Mary has cared for her for 4 months she still doesn't have the energy to grow feathers on her bottom. 

Mary is enjoying being a recluse.  She is good at foraging so will soon be living on weeds and lentils.  Her favourite weeds to eat are nettles but they have to be cooked or they sting you.  She makes Nettle Mint and Pea soup. 

I am wondering how many food poisoning cases will be attending Hospital because of foraging mistakes.  You need to know that you are doing or you might mistake Hemlock for Cow Parsley. Hemlock will kill you ...

Which brings us nicely to death. Mary lives next door to a graveyard so is reminded daily about her mortality.  But it also lifts our spirits because it is full of wild daffodils that make everyone happy because Spring is back. 

Night Night Betty 🐾🐾🐾

Betty Badger drinks Champagne

Hello Betty Fans, Have I got news for you!? 
The Badger Kill-Cull is being phased out and Defra is going move to Cow and Badger vaccination as I said all along they should do. Here is a picture of a happy Badger from The Independent.

Today me and Mary were standing outside Defra getting very cold, wet and miserable.  (Does it always rain on Thursdays?) Anyway we met Tony Juniper, the head of Natural England and in charge of killing Badgers.  Mary asked him if there was any Badger news and he told us Professor Godfray's review was to be published today. He hinted that it would be "quite positive" . Why was there a delay of a year? Probably to give Defra a chance to kill 60,000 more Badgers.  Like my cub Bryony...

Two other Defra staff also said the report was to be published one said with"surprising" conclusions. I started to get excited but Mary didn't want to hope in case our hopes were dashed again.  So we stood there in the rain until we were wet through and chilled to our bones then made our dripping way to the tube. Mary said we might get Corona.  I thought it was a drink as I was very thirsty but she explained it was a disease also called Covid 19. 

On the train Mary's phone made a noise and there was a message saying that the Badger Kill-Cull was to be phased out.  Mary's eyes started leaking.  I was so wet that my fur was leaking everywhere and I was too heavy to jump up and down with joy. 

Today we took three of the new cubs with us so 12 members of my family shared the news. Here are the new cubs in Mary's kitchen with their labels attached in case they got lost. 

Now, it is not all good news and we won't dwell on the fact that the "phasing out" of the Badger Kill-Cull may take five years, so there may be a lot more Badgers shot. We will look at the details another day, but this is the day of celebration. Mary has promised us some special sparkling water tonight and warned me not to drink too much in case I got tiddly like I did that time when I had too many rotting apples:

I have other news to share:

If you are a Defra Betty fan you might have missed me for a few weeks.  I wasn't staying at home manicuring my claws but I was outside 10 Downing Street. Then I decided to go to the back of Downing Street for a while as they have a rear entrance where the staff and other important Hupeople go in and out when they don't want to be seen by the press.  I saw Carrie, Mr Johnson's mate, and some cars with tinted windows. This is Carrie Symonds who also likes Badgers and who will be having a cub soon:

 We all got very wet and some of the cubs blew away in the wind and a nice Police Officer holding a big machine gun caught one of them for me.

But we accidentally broke the law and a Police metal box on wheels drove up to me and asked me to get into the back seat.  Mary was really worried I would be taken away and put in prison. The Police officers admitted that they asked me to get into their car because they didn't want to get soaked. So I soaked their car for them instead. 

They told me the pavement at the back of Downing Street is in fact a Royal Park and there are lots of things you are not allowed to do in these parks including putting up signs and hanging out your washing to dry on the trees.  It was not a good drying day and we didn't hang up any washing. This all seemed a bit silly . But I went away as ordered and we were so miserable that we went home and Mary had another Greggs vegan sausage roll.  I decided to persuade her to go back to Defra from now on otherwise she will get fat from comforting herself with savoury snacks.

Today we had our picture taken by a very important Human with really nice fur. He is in charge of Barking and Dagenham and he likes Badgers, even though he doesn't have many in his area. His daughter loves us and is very angry about the Kill Cull. He is putting the whole Badger family on his facebook page.

I also want to tell you more about the fox with three legs.  He is still coming to Mary's garden.  Remember I said last time that the rats were laughing at him because he was too slow to catch them, well he proved them wrong:

Mary's garden has become like  swamp because of the rain and the Chickens.  There are so many puddles that two Mallard Ducks have joined the fourteen Chickens and various Pheasants who escaped the shoot. If they all start mating we should have some interesting creatures. 

I just thought I heard a shot but it was the sparkling strong water opening so I had better stop. 

Politics is a strange and twisted thing full of Weasel words and dark deals made behind closed doors.  It is rarely honest, rational and clear. Politicians hate to lose face or do U turns so they tell lies.  If the government hadn't worried about losing face they would have stopped the Kill-Cull long before now. They also want votes so have to please powerful groups such as the National Farmers Union. 

I only hope that the good Hupeople who care about science, wildlife and compassion will get a chance to lead the policy now so that Badgers and our cubs can walk without fear of being shot. 

I just want to say a huge Badger Thank You to all the good Hupeople who have worked so hard in all weathers and sometimes in despair to try to save us.  Betty and her Badger friends love you 

Night Night,
Betty 🐾🐾🐾

Betty's Reshuffle Blues

Hello Betty Fans.
Today I made Mary take me to 10 Downing Street because Boris was having a reshuffle and I wanted to be at the centre of the action. 

I don't know why but all the camera Hupeople and journalists were not very happy to see me. I have to admit that I was standing right in front of the gate where the ministers were arriving and leaving. I thought I added to the excitement, but they seemed to want me out of camera shot. Still the public liked me and I had my picture taken lots of times. Your Betty was quite a hit.  Here are some of the camera crowd ignoring me:

We heard that the Chancellor of the Exchequer Sajid Javid resigned, which is quite sad because he spoke to us once outside Marsham Street and showed real interest.  Here he is:

We saw the new Chancellor  called  Rishi Sunak He doesn't look old enough to vote let alone look after the finance of the country Here is his picture.  We wish him well.  

Then we heard the dreadful news and I wanted to weep. The awful George Eustice has been promoted to Secretary of State for the Environment.  That is the worst nightmare of me and other Badgers.  We will not sleep well in our setts again. Eustice hates Badgers and he wants us all dead.  He doesn't care about the suffering of farm animals or wildlife. He doesn't care about the environment and he doesn't believe in the Human cause of Climate Change. Mary says he is in the pocket of the NFU.  I wonder if he might be having an affair with the head of the Farmers Union Minette Batters.  That would explain his irrational behaviour.  She looks as if she might enjoy a bit of slap and tickle.  Here they are together with some other Human:

 I have seen him answering questions about Badgers in Parly Ment and he uses Weasel words to avoid the truth. We keep asking why he hasn't commented on Professor Godfray's report of a year ago but he wriggles out of it like a snake. I fear there is no hope for Badgers. And he has the nerve to smile at us when he goes for lunch at Defra This is his picture:

We had a dreadful drama in the garden this week when a Lurcher Dog called Tulip caught one of Mary's Chickens and ran away across the fields with poor Neptune in her mouth,  Mary was so angry and sad and let out a scream that was so loud that her terrified Cats, Lola and Rufus, grew instantly to double their normal size and ran and hid under the bed.    They are normally on top of the bed....

Tulip belongs to Mary's neighbour Tim who is an irresponsible Dog keeper.  Mary once wrote an article in her local Paper called "The Divine Right of Dog Owners" all about how Dog Keepers think they can let their Fido go where they want and chase Cats and kill wild life such as Deer, Pheasants and Hares.  

Amazingly, there was a happy ending to the story as Neptune was found later cowering in a wood, with feathers missing and utterly traumatised.  Mary let her spend the night with her but was sure Neptune would die of shock.  But she didn't die because she is a tough little chicken. She is starting to get stronger every day. Here is a picture of her in a knitted coat to keep her warm until her feathers grow:

  Because we went to West Minster tube today Mary found a Greggs and had one of their Vegan Sausage Rolls.  That cheered us up. 

I am going to finish now because I have the Reshuffle Blues.  Mary is giving me and the family extra nuts to cheer us up tonight.  When I next write I will tell you all about my new Grandcubs.  We are busy in the sett looking after them.  They are too young to go outside yet but hey are certainly making their presence felt.  They are a reminder that even in the darkest times, new life gives us hope whether we are Badgers or Hupeople.

Here is a picture of some cubs to lift our hearts:

Night Night,

Betty 🐾🐾🐾

Betty is Snared

Hello Betty Fans,
I thought you might have been worried about me so a quick Blog to let you know about your favourite Badger. Oh, have I had a difficult time, but things are getting better. For the first time in living memory I missed 2 weeks at Defra. Why? Because I got caught in a snare and had a very bad paw.  This is a snare:

When a Creature gets caught in a snare it tightens around them and is supposed to hold the Animal quietly until the game keeper comes along to kill it. In reality the Creature struggles desperately to escape and can get strangled or badly injured. Sometimes the game keeper doesn't come back at all and the poor Animal suffers and starves and then dies. 

And, of course, if you live in the countryside your Cat or Dog can get caught in a snare- they often do:

Luckily I didn't die because one of the cubs found me and went to get Mary and she used some sharp scissors she called snips to get me out.  If it wasn't for Mary I might have died like this poor Badger:

Snares are often set up on shooting estates to kill any Animals that might reduce the profitability of shooting Pheasants and Partridges.  After a shoot the bodies of the birds shot are sometimes put into "stink pits".  I really don't understand why if they kill a bird they don't eat it; it is such a waste.  The smell of all this flesh attracts all sorts of meat eating Creatures such as Foxes and Buzzards and Crows..... and Badgers.  And so we get snared and die too.  

Mary land I live near a shooting estate  so we are always at risk of getting caught.  Luckily it was only my paw, and Mary put antiseptic on it so I won't die of infection.  Still I now walk with a wobble and I am having trouble digging holes  but my cubs are helping me out. 

Another visitor to Mary's garden is Fox.  He was a cub last year.  Sadly he got caught in a snare too.  Here is a video of him taken last night:

As you can see he has lost one of his legs at the front.  He probably had to chew it off.  It is a miracle that he didn't die.  Mary feeds him because he has trouble chasing Rabbits.  Unfortunately Mary's food has attracted Rats who eat the Fox food.  They aren't scared of the Fox because they know he can't run as fast as them  Here is a video showing them last night stealing his food:

It all happens in Mary's garden at night.  There might even be a Puma... so Mary doesn't wander around in the dark as much as she used to... . This is a Puma

We have been back at Defra for the last three weeks but my paw has been too sore for typing.  It has been good to be back after the Festive break to see all our friends again.  On my first day back a lovely Huwoman gave me  a free chocolate pudding called a Coconut Collaborative.  It was almost as nice as Peanut butter and Marmite sandwiches.    

Another Huwoman came up to me and said "Thank you, Thank you ,Thank you for everything you are doing."  It quite made me blush.  Last week a Human came up to me and said the same sort of thing and shook my by my sore paw- i didn't complain though because he was being kind. 

I was so glad to see my Angel, the lovely Human who always arrives to look after me when I am in trouble.  And I wasn't even in trouble.  We had a nice chat about how sensitive Creatures sometimes find life hard, but we are glad that we are sensitive because it makes us more compassionate.  I am even compassionate to Mary's Chickens.  The one called Mars died last week and Mary's eyes leaked a lot, so much so that she nearly had 2 accidents while driving home from the vet. I avoid going into the metal box on wheels with Mary. 

There is going to be a reshuffle in by Boris very soon.  He is in a bit of trouble because the National Farmers Union say he is being influenced by his girlfriend Carrie.  They say she persuaded him to stop the killing of Badgers in Derbyshire .  Actually it was silly to kill Badgers in Derbyshire because they had just begun an Badger vaccination programme there. 

Anyway, Badgers and their friends are hoping that Zac Goldsmith becomes the Defra Secretary of State because he doesn't believe in the Badger Kill-Cull.  I am not too hopeful though because I think some Civil Servants and the NFU will try to assassinate him if he tries to stop the policy of killing us lovely Badgers.  This is Zac Goldsmith:

It is very strange how government is over five weeks later than usual in announcing how many Badgers they killed in the Autumn.  They have always announced the figures before Xmas. But not this year.  Someone has made a Freedom of Information request to make them tell us the truth.  

Mary's mother called Nora has gone into a place where they look after very old Hupeople who have forgotten who they are.  She is happy there.  Mary has been very, very tired and sad in recent months because of her old mother and it has been hard for her to go to Defra every week. A positive aspect of Nora's move into a happy place is that Mary will now have more time and energy to look after me and my Badger friends.  I am sure that everyone at Defra will be pleased to hear that.

We are thinking of moving our vigil back to 10 Downing Street, at the front where the public and tourists hang around and take pictures, but also at the back where a lot of important Hupeople come and go.  So you may not see as much of me and Mary as you used to.  Downing Street is where I started my vigil two and a half years ago and we made lots of police friends there. 

We saw Tony Juniper at Defra again this week.  He had no words of support or hope to offer. Mr Juniper has bee a huge disappointment to Badgers and our Hupeople friends.

My poor paw is getting sore now so I will stop.  I have a feeling in my old Badger bones that there will be some positive movement on the matter of the Badger Kill-Cull in the weeks ahead. If not, watch out because Mary is getting herself energised to go into battle.

Night Night,

Betty

🐾🐾

Betty Badger's Festive Message to the Nation

Like the Queen, it has been a bumpy year for me, Betty Badger.  There have been high points and low points. 

Cubs are always a worry and The Queen has had a few problems with hers.  Bickering and naughtiness are inevitable in the young ones but we still love them.  The Queen is luckier than me though because Defra isn't determined to shoot her cubs.  I lost my cub Bryony  last year when she was shot in the Kill-Cull.



Also like the Queen, I have RSI from all the waving I do, although I only wave on Thursdays  outside Defra. The poor Queen can be called on to wave any day of the week!

Some of this year's  high points relate to my weekly vigil at Defra. Kind-hearted Hupeople have brought me food and drink such as iced soya lattes, peanut butter and Marmite sandwiches, apples and cups of tea.  I have made friends who have protected me from being hurt by nasty Hupeople who attacked me and my Huwoman Mary. 

Oh and we missed being stabbed by 5 minutes by a crazy Human with a Ferret and a knife in Marsham Street.  We were very lucky.

A major high point was being invited to meet Michael Gove who listened carefully to Mary.  He seemed to be intent on helping us and then he lost his job because of a General Election.  

Theresa Villiers took over.  She has never been seen at Defra and we believe she is actually locked in a cupboard in case she says something that undermines Conservatory Party policies.  Either that or she is a CGI creation and doesn't really exist at all.

We had a few jolly protests outside Defra:

but it wasn't very nice when the Police threatened to arrest me and Mary.  They were worried because Extinction Rebellion were sitting down in the road and drinking tea and  sticking themselves to trains and windows and walls and street furniture so they were angry with anyone who was protesting.

They called me "A MAGNET FOR TROUBLE" .  The lovely Defra staff and security men said I was in fact "A DEFRA INSTITUTION"!  

Another high point was having a party outside Defra in Marsham Street and eating cake in the shape of the world with Bertie.  Bertie and I have had lots of slap and tickle together which led me to carry little cubs inside my belly. 

Oh and me and Mary became media super stars appearing on Radio 4 Woman's Hour and iPM.  Today we had a big article with a picture of me in the local news paper. We are hoping to get on to the Today programme too. 

We were so excited to meet Jenni Murray

Although me and Mary have been insulted and hit and shouted at, all that is as nothing compared with the dreadful Kill-Cull.  We Badgers and Badger-Loving Hupeople all wanted Labour to win the General Election because they promised they would stop killing us. 

The Conservatory Government has now killed around 130,000 Badger Folk, around 64,000 this year, although they haven't released  the figures yet, which is odd because they always do before the Xmas recess. They probably thought it would stop kind Hupeople voting for them. They will probably carry on killing us for five more years and that breaks all our hearts.  And there is no scientific reason for doing that.

Do  you remember my blog with the sad picture of Dead Badgers bagged and binned and ready  for burning.  I said in then I bet Defra doesn't test those Badgers before they burn their little bodies because they don't want the public to know how few Badgers have Cow TB.  Well, Mary wrote to Defra to ask that question and, after six weeks, they confirmed that they do NOT test the Badgers before burning them (except in Cumbria) so there is no evidence that we are spreading TB. 

Anyway, Boris Johnson is responsible for making me and Mary stand outside Defra on Thursdays for another five years.  She will be very, very old by then and will definitely be wearing Tena Lady Pants extra absorbent.  I will probably be dead.  But we are not giving up. 

Other good news this year was the Professor Godfray report in which he said that vaccinating Badgers would be cheaper and more effective than killing us. And the RSPCA said that killing Badgers was just a distraction from dealing with the real causes of TB including Biosecurity. Did Defra take any notice of these Experts? Of course not, because the NFU hates Badgers and has Defra in it's pockets. 

And then there are Mary's 15 chickens.  Is that good news or bad?  Her lovely garden is now very muddy and smelly but, when Mary is not looking, I nip in and steal an egg or two or three....  She wonders why they only lay a few eggs a day. Please don't tell her I am enjoying some nice eggs for my breakfast every night.  At least I am not eating the Chickens which it is in my nature to do.  I am showing immense restraint for a Badger, but Mary is my friend and companion now and she has enough stress without me making her sadder.  

Anyway, I think I am a little sad myself having made the decision not to let my cubs come to fruition.  I told you that we Badgers can hold on to our embryos for a year or two so they will be born in better times.  It doesn't look as if better times are coming very quickly for us Badgers, so I have reabsorbed my four little cubs because the world is just too cruel a place for me to bring vulnerable Badger cubs into a life of fear and danger.

Sorry that's not very festive but is is the reality for Badgers and Foxes and Crows and Buzzards and Bees and all the other Creatures Hupeople choose to kill or hurt.  You do so much damage with your hunting and your chemicals and your farming and your cars and your overpopulating and so many species are dying out.  

Anyway,  the  old year has ended and I recall with affection our trip to the Conservatory Party Conference in Man Chester where we met lots of kind Hupeople, even Conservatories who don't agree with the Kill-Cull.   We were left with a little hope.  But more importantly, I was the first Badger ever to travel First Class on a Virgin Train and drink Gin and Tonic which made me sneeze and snooze.  I would like to try that again. 

Mary and I are having a week off from Defra this week as it will be the day after your Xmas and we both need a break.  I will stay in my sett with my family and Mary will stay in her garden with her chickens.  We will both be eating peanut butter and Marmite sandwiches.  Heaven!

Happy New Year from Betty (and Mary and the Chickens and the Cats).  May your sett be warm and your earth be full of worms. 
🐾🐾🐾🐾  XX 🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐱🐱