Betty Hits the Bottle

Hello Fans! Betty here. Bottles feature today.  I hung around the big plastic bottle that landed outside DEFRA. It was very pretty and caused quite a stir.  You Hupeople can be quite clever at times. 

I liked the DEFRA bottle so much that Mary got me my own Badger sized bottle to hang around.  Here we are having fun with it:  

Another bottle that I want to mention is the one Mary drinks out of in the evening.  It is dark green and whatever it contains makes her jolly when she drinks it  She has given bottles up for Lent and has become a bit irritable.  Luckily her Lent isn't very long; in fact she calls it a Novena. Apparently that is a Roman Catholic tradition.  I have absolutely no idea what she is talking about but I am glad that it won't be long before she is jolly again.  Here is one of her bottles that she buys from a box on wheels called Ocado 

The March weather has made our DEFRA vigils difficult in March.  Last week we got wet and muddy; I hate having cold paws.   Our lives were saved by a lovely Human who brought us a steaming hot cup of green tea. There are some lovely kind Hupeople in the world. Mary gave us all a good wash and here are the cubs drying out on the radiator.

Do you remember last year how I used to meet a man in a really white shirt?  Well I met him again last week and he noticed how clean I was.... We had a nice chat about Mr Gove.  He said that Gove probably really likes Badgers and is working behind the scenes to save us but he cannot be seen with me because it would damage his chances of becoming the Prime Minister.  You can imagine the headlines under of picture of Mr Gove and Betty. Perhaps we can be friends when he becomes Prime Minister.  Perhaps I am fooling myself, but I am very hopeful badger.  

This week we had a very hard time with the gales, so much so that Mary made us go home early. The problem was that our placards kept blowing away, even landing in the Home Office/DEFRA moat.  But even worse, my cubs kept flying off the DEFRA window sill and rolled down the road.  Mary counted then out and counted them back and we were lucky still to have seven at the end of the day.

The security men are always very friendly and call out "Hello Betty".  One of then told me that some naughty protesters turned the DEFRA/Home Office moat red by filling it with dye.  Apparently it was expensive to fix so everyone was angry.  I said they are cruel to wildlife because they put bleach into the  moat so the birds can't drink from it.  There is not much opportunity for birds to drink good water around Westminster.  I think they should turn the moat into a wildlife pond so the big crow who comes to visit us every week doesn't die of thirst.  I must ask Mary to write to Mr Gove about that. 

I wasn't sad to see the farming Minister Mr Eustice resign but I heard through the Badger Grapevine that he doesn't like Badgers either. Mary just read about him in Pig World and Poultry news . He knows about farming and woodland burials for Hupeople. He also speaks lots of languages.  He is big mates with the NFU which doesn't bode well for us Badgers.

Here is his picture:

But there is some much better news.  Today Tony Juniper has been appointed as the new Chair of Natural England.  These are the people who actually organise the killing of us Badger Folk.  If anyone can stop the killing it is Mr Juniper because he was involved with the WWF and other animal-loving Charities such as the Wildlife Trusts. Here is his picture:

So we Badgers and our Badger loving friends are keeping our fingers and claws crossed.  Mary is going to meet Mr Juniper when he gives a talk in April.  I will ask her to take me with her so I can tell him all about how we Badgers have lost 70,000 of our friends and my husband Brian and my cub Bryony who were both shot and I still have a broken heart. 

Mary asked me to mention the several Hupeople who introduced themselves to her at DEFRA having heard her on Radio 4 PM programme.  It was lovely to meet you all and thank you for coming to talk to us.  We specially liked the Huwoman from Cumbria who had been searching for us and wanted to shake my paw because she loves badgers. 

I want to finish with some nice picture we took last week in Westminster.  This first one is of a Human with a really smelly machine who was filling holes in the ground with sticky black stuff; I would hate to get that on my paws:

And a lovely picture taken in a park we walk by just down the road from DEFRA.  Spring is coming and soon the cubs will be playing out in the sun

Night Night, Betty  and her Cubs 🐾🐾🐾

Betty Muses on Life and Death

Hello Fans,Betty is back. In fact I never went away but Mary has been too busy looking after her very, very old mother to help me use the computer.  However, we have been to the three DEFRA offices every week and we have lots of news.

At DEFRA Marsham Street I met three lovey Hupeople protesting against the killing of grey squirrels.  Here is their picture:  

They want everyone to sign their petition to stop animal vets being forced to kill any squirrels who are brought in for medical treatment. 

Hupeople are blaming the grey Squirrels for killing the red ones but I have heard that the red ones are declining because Hupeople are cutting down too many trees and destroying their habitats.  Not many people know but we used to kill red squirrels too and that has affected the numbers.   They were accused of damaging trees and eating eggs.

Muntjac deer as well as grey squirrels are to be designated as illegal aliens and vets won't be able to treat them either,  This is very sad for me because some of my best friends are Muntjac deer.  Here is a video of me playing with my deer and fox friends a couple of nights ago:

There were 2 foxes last week but the gamekeeper shot the other one.

Mary's friend Tom, who sometimes writes nice comments on my blog, sent her some very sad information about the Defra's Natural England who has allowed the killing of 170,000 wild birds in the last five years.  This is the headline from The Guardian : "Natural England has given permission to kill birds of more than 70 species, or have their nests and eggs destroyed. These include peregrine falcons, barn owls, buzzards and red kites, alongside garden favourites such as robins, blackbirds and blue tits. A licence was even issued to destroy a wrens’ nest to “preserve public safety” in South Yorkshire."

If you want a link to the article this is it : Natural England allows lots of killing

I wonder who makes these dreadful decisions to kill wild animals like Badgers, and Squirrels and Ravens and wrens?  How do they sleep at night?  

We saw Mr Farage again and this time he had only two bodyguards.  Perhaps his life isn't so much at risk now as you Hupeople are fed up with all your politicians.  And I am happy to report that I have seem Mr Gove twice and on both occasions he stopped and said hello.  He hesitated and I think he was going to have a chat with me but then thought better of it, probably because he thought I might bite off some body part.  Dear Mr Gove I promise I won't...yet.  This is a nice picture of Mr Gove.  I think he will be the Prime Minister one day.




I heard that The NFU had their Annual Conference yesterday and were calling for even more badger deaths.  Lots of lies were told, for example they said how the incidence of Cow TB is going down since the killing of Badgers, began.  It is going up.  Also another farmer has been sent to court for moving cattle illegally, therefore risking the spread of TB.  And STILL they blame Badgers.

In our sett the cubs are being born now and our home is full of the squeals of new life.  None for me this year but perhaps one day.....  Remember the picture I showed you last year? This is what they look like:

They won't be leaving the set for a while because they can't see.   I would like to remind all you Hupeople that you must be especially careful when you are driving your metal boxes on wheels because if you knock over a nursing mother all the little cubs will die of starvation.  So please drive very slowly. 

It is so wonderful to see the new life carrying our Badger memories, stories and our paths on into the future. We have been trundling around the British Islands since Ice Age.  It is so sad that some of our tribes have already died out in parts because of persecution.  I will never understand Hupeople.

Still there are some lovely Hupeople who hep us and some of you are reading this.  We Badgers thank you from the bottom of our stripey hearts

At the other end of life is old age.  I am now a middle aged Badger.  We can live for fifteen years, but many of us die much younger because of hunger, thirst, road accidents and DEFRA.

Mary's mother is so ancient at 88 that she is starting to crumble in every way,  She has just broken her arm and her hip and possibly her mind.  But she still remembers my name and the fact that I go with Mary every Thursday to DEFRA.    I think they decided she was crazy when she told everyone in hospital that her daughter goes to Defra every Thursday with a Badger.  I must tell them that she is not delirious and that her daughter does in fact do that.  Here is Mary's mother:

I am going to stay well away from Hospitals (except Tiggywinkles who are kind to animals)  because they stick tubes up your nose, needles in your stomach and suppositories in  your bottom.   

I am going to finish now as Mary has to go to Hospital again to see her mother.  But we will still be at DEFRA on Thursday and hope that Mr Gove will stop and talk to us this week

I discovered today that DEFRA and security staff are now calling Thursday "Betty Day." Isn't that jolly?   

Night Night, Betty 🐾🐾🐾

Betty and the BBC and Mr Gove

Hello Betty Fans,  Oh what an exciting day I had with Lovely Luke from the BBC who followed me around on my journey and, guess what, I met my arch enemies Mr Gove and Mr Eustice . 

 

But I am running ahead of my story.  Mary sent a sentence of news to the BBC Radio 4 iPM programme expressing her ambivalence about going to London every week.  I thought she meant she enjoyed it but "ambivalence" is a big word for a Badger and she told me it meant that she was in 2 minds about going.  I think that's a bit shabby- I thought she liked our adventures. Anyway, the BBC got in touch with Mary and said Luke Jones would like to go with me and Mary on our weekly trip to DEFRA.  I told Luke to make sure he wrapped up warm because we have had snow and it was really, really cold. Here is a picture of the snow in Mary's garden.  The Chickens did not like it- they aren't tough like us Badgers.

Luke came to Mary's house and she drove him to the station.  I told him how brave he was  going in the car with her.  We all stood on the platform being interviewed by Luke.  Then we went on the train and the silver tubeworm.  We walked to our first DEFRA venue in Smith Square and Luke asked me and Mary lots of questions about why we have been going to DEFRA every Thursday for 18 months. Mary said it was to bring to attention the cruelty, irrationality and cost of killing 70,000 Badgers in the last five years, 

This is Luke.  

He is very clever and charming and Mary said he will be famous one day; he has already run the proper PM programme once I think.  He probably wants to be the next Eddie Mair or, more likely, Louis Theroux.   You Hupeople who don't listen to the radio may have no idea what I am talking about.  Radio 4 is  radio station that intellectual older people like Mary listen to, although Radio 4 is  trying to be more "accessible" to younger  and  less clever folk.  Which will probably explain why all the important serious bits Mary told Luke were edited out and the programme became a jolly day out with a Badger-mad eccentric. Still we laughed a lot, especially when Mary had to explain to Luke that Gays were not Badgers.

We stood outside DEFRA and people waved but DEFRA staff were very shy when they saw the microphone and didn't want to say anything that might get them in trouble. We even saw Mr Gove's lovely driver but I didn't tell Luke because I didn't want to cause any trouble for my friend. One lovely Human who was delivering a parcel said how much he liked badgers.  He told us all about Honey Badgers who live a long way away.  They are not as handsome a European Badgers:



When these Badgers are in the mood for mating, they become super-badgers and will even attack a big Bear.  Their speciality is biting off the testicles of Bears or anyone else who gets in the way of their passions.  Luke cut that part of the interview out. Here is a picture of Mr Gove and Mr Eustice with Mrs May.  They both look a bit worried; perhaps they know that an Angry Badger is after them.  

Actually I had just told Luke how much I hated these Ministers because they have killed my Brian and Bryony and all the other 70,000 Badgers for no good scientific reason   Mr Gove and Mr Eustice came along later and, in his usual polite fashion, Mr Gove said Hello.  Mr Eustice smiled; if only they knew what I was thinking about.  They are very lucky that I am not a Honey Badger but am instead a polite British Badger who doesn't eat testicles.

Or perhaps they did know because what should come along  but a Pest Control Van that parked next to me:

Obviously there wasn't a Badger Control Van nearby so they sent a Beaver Van instead.  I quickly moved on from Great Peter Street to Marsham Street to get out of danger.  I sent Luke home because he turned blue.  These London types just don't know how to dress for standing around in freezing temperatures. 

I had lots of people taking their Selfies with me and promising to tweet and Instagram me.    Mary dragged me home early because she was worried about her Chickens dying of cold.    Once we got home she got out one of her best bed coverings and put it on the snow to stop their feet getting cold.  Honestly!

Mary heard her radio programme on Saturday evening by accident.  She was a bit annoyed that taking me to London every week was under the heading of an "extreme hobby"!!!  She had hoped for a more intelligent and serious article, but at least she might have raised the profile of Badgers for me.  And Luke was good company.  I think he owes Mary and me an interview with Mr Gove and Mr Eustice..  Now THAT would make a jolly programme for iPM and I promise not to bite any part of their bodies.... below the waist anyway.

If you want to hear Mary then this is the link to the programme:
Betty on BBC Radio 4

We went to DEFRA again today but we had no great adventures.  One man did shout at me and said I should be worrying about the world and not Badgers.  I told him that we worry about everything and want to make the whole world a better place for Hupeople and Badgers and Polar bears , even for Chickens.  I reminded him of the words of Mahatma Gandhi who said "The greatness of a nation can be judged by the way its animals are treated." Britain isn't doing very well on that score...

Night Night fans

Betty🐾🐾🐾

Betty is Back with Renewed Energy

Hello Fans.  Your favourite Badger is back at DEFRA and full of new energy and determination after the Xmas recess.  If M.P.s can have a recess then Badgers can too.

And what an exciting day I had at DEFRA today with serenading, friendship and Nigel Farage.  He was strolling along Great Peter Street at the centre of a square of 4 people- probably his minders.  He did look at me but didn't come and talk to me. I think that was a bit rude; It is not every day he will see the wondrous sight of a 6 foot Badger in Westminster. 

I also had a visit from Dominic Dyer of The Badger Trust who is still talking to other organisations so they will come together and work to save Badgers.  Some of these NGOs  (which means non governmental organisations) do a lot of talking and write lots of reports and it would good to see them actually making a difference to the lives of Hupeople and Badgers. This is Dominic with me and some Badger friends in Westminster:

I spent an hour at each of the three DEFRA offices doors in Smith Square, Great Peter Street and Marsham Street, so I met lots of my old Hupoeple friends who were glad to see me... and without the blood... 

So there was no escape from Betty today, except for Mr Gove who has managed to avoid me for months now by sneaking in a back entrance where Badgers aren't allowed.  He refuses to meet me or answer my letters or my emails or my tweets so that shows he is feeling guilty and is a coward. I was feeling quite naughty, so I hung one of my posters on their sign at Smith Square. 

Then I heard the sound of singing and music and it was anti-Brexit musicians.  Mary said that these musical Hupeople wanted to have freedom to sing and play instruments around Europe. 

 It was nice to hear the pretty noises .  There was then a concert of Baroque music in St John's Church in Smith Square  but Mary said they don't let Badgers in because of we might join in, and we don't sing very well and we have fleas...  We Badgers do enjoy a good scratch....

We met a very old Huwoman going to the music concert.  She was thrilled to see us because many, many years ago she had been protesting outside DEFRA and decorators poured paint on her and her friends- she sued them...  I wonder if I will go back when I am really old and the Kill-Cull has ended and look nostalgically  at DEFRA's door.  Probably I will be shot by then.  But perhaps my cubs will come back one day.  I brought them all with me on Thursday.  Here they are:

The homeless people were back at Pimlico station; perhaps because Hupeople are only kind to them at Christmas.   One of them had his head under a lovely picture of a Huwoman. Mary said she might be an angel.and I hope that was a comfort.   Badgers don't believe in angels, although we do believe in fairies because they come out and play with us at night

Mary still has 5 chickens.  They are called Orlando, Goldie, Ginger Daisy and another Henrietta.  They follow us everywhere and their favourite food is grapes, although I am a bit annoyed because when Mary was digging her vegetable bed they pinched all the worms.  I am really not happy about these chickens.  

Mary and I went to the local Badger meeting on Tuesday because there was a talk about a Huwoman called Eileen Soper who drew the pictures for the Enid Blyton Famous Five books.  What most Hupeople don't know is that she loved Badgers and she spent years visiting a Badger Sett close to her house and became a Badger expert .

The talk was really interesting but the Human called Peter showed us lot of his slides and some of them were quite shocking.  He had picture of Badgers MATING! AND HAVING AN ORGY.  Obviously there is nothing wrong with mating and having an orgy, because we Badgers, just like Humans, like mating all the year round, but we don't like Hupeople taking secret pictures of us while we are enjoying the pleasures of the furry flesh.  Imagine if we Badgers put cameras in your bedrooms and we then showed the pictures to all our friends in the woods.  You would probably call that pornography and an invasion of privacy.   This is Badger pornography then.....

If  you have been reading my blog for the past year or so you probably know quite a lot about Badgers.  You might know that we can live for around ten years. We eat mostly worms and love peanuts, which is how the wicked DEFRA people catch us by putting peanuts in their traps and then they shoot us, like they did my cub Bryony.  I still have a broken heart.   We live underground during the day and tend to come out at night.  But in the summer when the days are long, if you are very quiet and not too smelly, you might catch us playing out on a sunny evening.   If it is very cold we stay underground in our setts a lot in the Cold Time. We do pop up on warmer days to clear out our tunnels and put in some nice fresh grass and leaves.

Oh and we are indeed a bit promiscuous Irish research has shown Badgers carrying a collection of cubs inside their bodies fathered by different males at different times.  Of course, I was always faithful to Brian who was killed in the 2017 Kill-Cull when my heart was broken for the first time.  Life is hard for Badgers these days but, then again, it always has been  

Interesting fact: the Dachsund was bred to hunt Badgers that is why it is long and thin with short legs so it can fit down our tunnels.  Dachshund in German means Badger Hound.  I definitely don't like them, or any other dog for that matter.

I spoke with a Huwoman from the BBC this week ., but it is a big secret so I can't tell you any more.  I am quite excited.... Let's finish my Blog with a nice picture of a Badger friend .  This is to remind you that we Badgers are lovely- much nicer than chickens- and we are worth fighting for...  

Night Night,  

Betty Badger 🐾🐾🐾